Setting boundaries with friend who gives too much advice…
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Setting boundaries with friend who gives too much advice
Hi all, I have a friend who is really financially savvy, and likes to give advice to me about it. She's also very anxious and stressed a lot of the time because she has these strict financial goals and wants to retire early. While I know she means well and has good advice generally, sometimes her constant advice can get kind of annoying and feels like a parent or coach rather than a friend, and I wanted advice on how to bring it up to her without hurting her feelings.
Some examples:
- She's always telling me to sign up for this and that to get deals, such as Costco cards or other credit cards and memberships to things, free class benefits, which can get overwhelming.
- She keeps nagging me to max out my 401k this year. This annoys me the most because yeah I technically can and am already putting in like 20%, but I started a new job halfway through the year after a year of unemployment, so Id need to be aggressively saving like over half my paycheck. When I've brought up in the past how I don't make enough money to feel comfortable maxxing it out, she makes some good points about how its money id lose otherwise and she's never regretted maxing it out when she made less. However, she's also super frugal in many other aspects of her life, whereas I spend money on stuff like concerts and outdoor hobbies and hanging out/eating out more, travelling to see family and partner etc.
- She's recently been suggesting I try to learn more AI tools at work so I can get ahead and be more marketable in my field, even though I barely use or need AI anyway plus I kinda hate AI lol. n the past she's also tried to tell me to go to all these networking events and sign up for various career things to help with my job search.
I do appreciate a lot of the advice, but especially regarding the 401k and other retirement or investing advice or credit card deals etc, frankly it's just too much information, plus she makes significantly more than me so it does feel a little out of touch sometimes.
However, idk how to approach this with her because her advice does make sense so I can't really argue against it. I also understand because she's anxious she just wants to help me out, and perhaps I'm being way too chill about it and should take these financial tips more seriously? Nonetheless I do want her to relax a lot more on the constant life advice, especially financially because we just have different financial and life goals. How would y'all recommend I set conversation boundaries with her in a gentle way that hopefully doesn't make her feel too bad or unappreciated? Thanks!
#relationships
source
Hi all, I have a friend who is really financially savvy, and likes to give advice to me about it. She's also very anxious and stressed a lot of the time because she has these strict financial goals and wants to retire early. While I know she means well and has good advice generally, sometimes her constant advice can get kind of annoying and feels like a parent or coach rather than a friend, and I wanted advice on how to bring it up to her without hurting her feelings.
Some examples:
- She's always telling me to sign up for this and that to get deals, such as Costco cards or other credit cards and memberships to things, free class benefits, which can get overwhelming.
- She keeps nagging me to max out my 401k this year. This annoys me the most because yeah I technically can and am already putting in like 20%, but I started a new job halfway through the year after a year of unemployment, so Id need to be aggressively saving like over half my paycheck. When I've brought up in the past how I don't make enough money to feel comfortable maxxing it out, she makes some good points about how its money id lose otherwise and she's never regretted maxing it out when she made less. However, she's also super frugal in many other aspects of her life, whereas I spend money on stuff like concerts and outdoor hobbies and hanging out/eating out more, travelling to see family and partner etc.
- She's recently been suggesting I try to learn more AI tools at work so I can get ahead and be more marketable in my field, even though I barely use or need AI anyway plus I kinda hate AI lol. n the past she's also tried to tell me to go to all these networking events and sign up for various career things to help with my job search.
I do appreciate a lot of the advice, but especially regarding the 401k and other retirement or investing advice or credit card deals etc, frankly it's just too much information, plus she makes significantly more than me so it does feel a little out of touch sometimes.
However, idk how to approach this with her because her advice does make sense so I can't really argue against it. I also understand because she's anxious she just wants to help me out, and perhaps I'm being way too chill about it and should take these financial tips more seriously? Nonetheless I do want her to relax a lot more on the constant life advice, especially financially because we just have different financial and life goals. How would y'all recommend I set conversation boundaries with her in a gentle way that hopefully doesn't make her feel too bad or unappreciated? Thanks!
#relationships
source
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