How do I figure out if I come across as “creepy” and…
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How do I figure out if I come across as “creepy” and change it?
I’m a 39M. I was in a 3-year relationship that I thought was mostly loving and stable. About four months ago, my ex started a fight over something that felt small to me, then left. We recently spoke again and she told me I’m “creepy” and “an asshole,” and said that’s why I can’t keep friends and “no one loves me.”
That hit hard because I’ve worried for a long time that people perceive me that way, even though I genuinely try to be kind and respectful. I’m also shy, keep to myself, and I get strong anxiety in groups. I prefer one-on-one hangouts and tend to avoid big gatherings.
I’m not here to bash my ex or get validation. I’m trying to understand:
•What are common behaviors that make someone come across as creepy or unsafe (even if they don’t mean to)?
•How can I get honest feedback about how I come across without burdening people?
•What are practical, specific things I can work on to be more socially comfortable and less off-putting?
If it helps, I can answer questions. I’m open to hard truths, but I’d really appreciate actionable advice.
#relationships
source
I’m a 39M. I was in a 3-year relationship that I thought was mostly loving and stable. About four months ago, my ex started a fight over something that felt small to me, then left. We recently spoke again and she told me I’m “creepy” and “an asshole,” and said that’s why I can’t keep friends and “no one loves me.”
That hit hard because I’ve worried for a long time that people perceive me that way, even though I genuinely try to be kind and respectful. I’m also shy, keep to myself, and I get strong anxiety in groups. I prefer one-on-one hangouts and tend to avoid big gatherings.
I’m not here to bash my ex or get validation. I’m trying to understand:
•What are common behaviors that make someone come across as creepy or unsafe (even if they don’t mean to)?
•How can I get honest feedback about how I come across without burdening people?
•What are practical, specific things I can work on to be more socially comfortable and less off-putting?
If it helps, I can answer questions. I’m open to hard truths, but I’d really appreciate actionable advice.
#relationships
source
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