I see no point in life after god, why do i even try My…
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I see no point in life after god, why do i even try
My spiritual journey has been weird, but there was one thing certain: it was full of awful shit. Aside from religion, abuse is ingrained in our culture to the point where everyone normalises it(EGYPT). I have been struggling mentally from 10 i have been abused, bullied, and treated badly for everything, maybe because I am probably autistic (I don't know if I am). I have always felt alone or different from people i fee like i couldnot align very well with people,possibly alot of factors,but when i was small i wished for one thing was for me to die so i can go to heaven and achieve everything i ever wanted and have every wish achieved, that was my dream. i valued nothing about real life and anything , the only i believed in was god and the only person i ever had was god.
but i am fucking confused and i extremely fucking hate my existence and my life in general, i feel like a failure for not wanting to be in reality i have terrible dissociation where i just daydream all the time and avoid reality and stay as a shut in. i have nothing or nobody to care about anymore and i have been going crazy over being an atheist and a muslim like a godamn high frequency oscillating crystal .like i fucking hate it, i was an muslim for most of my life and i kept praying for god to take me or help me or do anything to spare my awful life because i have done nothing to deserve this shit at all ,yet that motherfucker is silent as the little bitch he is , because he is fake and i know he is fake and no matter how much i see the contradicitons and the bullshit written in religeon i still am scard of going to hell or never acheiving anything at all. like look i may belive all religeons are man made bull shit, but i still cannot be 100 percent if god doesnot exist or not which doesnot matter considering he barely answers us at all, i tried therapy and my first therapist was a bullshit god therapist that always spoke of god fuck him and gave me meds that never helped at all.that guy never cared about anything at all .guys i need help i am sick of this bullshit conversion from an atheist to muslim like it sucks. i seriously need help and i cannot afford therapy or meds or anyfucking thing, i truly hate this country so much
#religion
source
My spiritual journey has been weird, but there was one thing certain: it was full of awful shit. Aside from religion, abuse is ingrained in our culture to the point where everyone normalises it(EGYPT). I have been struggling mentally from 10 i have been abused, bullied, and treated badly for everything, maybe because I am probably autistic (I don't know if I am). I have always felt alone or different from people i fee like i couldnot align very well with people,possibly alot of factors,but when i was small i wished for one thing was for me to die so i can go to heaven and achieve everything i ever wanted and have every wish achieved, that was my dream. i valued nothing about real life and anything , the only i believed in was god and the only person i ever had was god.
but i am fucking confused and i extremely fucking hate my existence and my life in general, i feel like a failure for not wanting to be in reality i have terrible dissociation where i just daydream all the time and avoid reality and stay as a shut in. i have nothing or nobody to care about anymore and i have been going crazy over being an atheist and a muslim like a godamn high frequency oscillating crystal .like i fucking hate it, i was an muslim for most of my life and i kept praying for god to take me or help me or do anything to spare my awful life because i have done nothing to deserve this shit at all ,yet that motherfucker is silent as the little bitch he is , because he is fake and i know he is fake and no matter how much i see the contradicitons and the bullshit written in religeon i still am scard of going to hell or never acheiving anything at all. like look i may belive all religeons are man made bull shit, but i still cannot be 100 percent if god doesnot exist or not which doesnot matter considering he barely answers us at all, i tried therapy and my first therapist was a bullshit god therapist that always spoke of god fuck him and gave me meds that never helped at all.that guy never cared about anything at all .guys i need help i am sick of this bullshit conversion from an atheist to muslim like it sucks. i seriously need help and i cannot afford therapy or meds or anyfucking thing, i truly hate this country so much
#religion
source
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