I want friends, but I hate talking to people, and I…
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I want friends, but I hate talking to people, and I shutdown when spoken to
The title pretty much summarises it, but I struggle to be friendly and talking to people outside of work interactions.
My social life is only what I’m obligated to do (talk to customers and colleagues when I need to, but I don’t engage in small talk because my brain just freezes and shuts down; I can’t talk (thanks autism..))
And then I talk to my family when I have to; outside of that, I just sit in my room alone.
I find socialising extremely draining, and even just being around people makes me want to isolate myself for a week straight to recharge.
I do try and put in the effort sometimes; maybe complimenting a person every now and then. But as soon as someone either starts to reply back or is the one to initiate conversation; my mind goes completely blank; my emotions are turned off; I dissociate; and I go into verbal shutdown and just can’t speak.
I don’t know how to actually improve on this, because it’s not that I’m not confident or anything (I’m not insecure, and I don’t worry about what people think of me), but I just can’t seem to cope with the fact that someone actually wants to talk to me, and how I can actually overcome the shutdown to actually have a chance of making a friend.
Sorry if this is all just word vomit; it’s 2am and I feel like I cannot articulate my words properly lmao
#relationships
source
The title pretty much summarises it, but I struggle to be friendly and talking to people outside of work interactions.
My social life is only what I’m obligated to do (talk to customers and colleagues when I need to, but I don’t engage in small talk because my brain just freezes and shuts down; I can’t talk (thanks autism..))
And then I talk to my family when I have to; outside of that, I just sit in my room alone.
I find socialising extremely draining, and even just being around people makes me want to isolate myself for a week straight to recharge.
I do try and put in the effort sometimes; maybe complimenting a person every now and then. But as soon as someone either starts to reply back or is the one to initiate conversation; my mind goes completely blank; my emotions are turned off; I dissociate; and I go into verbal shutdown and just can’t speak.
I don’t know how to actually improve on this, because it’s not that I’m not confident or anything (I’m not insecure, and I don’t worry about what people think of me), but I just can’t seem to cope with the fact that someone actually wants to talk to me, and how I can actually overcome the shutdown to actually have a chance of making a friend.
Sorry if this is all just word vomit; it’s 2am and I feel like I cannot articulate my words properly lmao
#relationships
source
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