is this a good start or am i still limiting myself? hii…
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is this a good start or am i still limiting myself?
hii , 22 year old agoraphobe here... soo a few weeks ago i noticed "hey im gonna waste my entire early 20s if i dont get out of the house" ive been anxious my entire life, and now im really trying to do something about the social part.
the past few weeks, ive been forcing myself to go to events around my city. last night i went to a local punk band's first show, and this morning i went to a breakfast meant for people wanting to make friends. I have gone to these events both completely alone, with no expectations, and have just tried to get the goal of not being insanely anxious around new people.
this morning it actually wasnt supposed to be alone, I was supposed to meet up w a friend who usually goes to this breakfast who knows everyone, but he got sick and i had to go by myself. I was really really nervous, it took me about 20 minutes of working up the nerve to say hi, and my hands were shaking so bad, but i did! And I was pretty quiet at first but once the group became a bit smaller i think i actually did pretty well all things considered. I was able to ask questions and add my own thoughts to ppls experiences, though i dont think anyone thought i was particularly interesting, which is okay.
I think if no one knew I was there I probably would have walked away (bc itd be embarrassing to tell my sick friend i made it all the way into downtown just to pussy out) but i think im glad i stuck around. idk. I didnt make any true connection with anyone there, but it felt like a good start.
I guess my question is or maybe im just looking for encouragement but ??? am i doing this right ?? I always have this fear that when i set out to do something im actually being an idiot and doing it wrong and stunting myself. is it okay to set these expectations for myself of not forcing myself to talk to strangers, as long as i show up its okay? I figure one day soon ill get kind of bored w the event itself and gradually get braver to start talking to people organically. is this a good strat do ppl have recommendations idk im the #1 shut in i dont know how to do this !!!
#relationships
source
hii , 22 year old agoraphobe here... soo a few weeks ago i noticed "hey im gonna waste my entire early 20s if i dont get out of the house" ive been anxious my entire life, and now im really trying to do something about the social part.
the past few weeks, ive been forcing myself to go to events around my city. last night i went to a local punk band's first show, and this morning i went to a breakfast meant for people wanting to make friends. I have gone to these events both completely alone, with no expectations, and have just tried to get the goal of not being insanely anxious around new people.
this morning it actually wasnt supposed to be alone, I was supposed to meet up w a friend who usually goes to this breakfast who knows everyone, but he got sick and i had to go by myself. I was really really nervous, it took me about 20 minutes of working up the nerve to say hi, and my hands were shaking so bad, but i did! And I was pretty quiet at first but once the group became a bit smaller i think i actually did pretty well all things considered. I was able to ask questions and add my own thoughts to ppls experiences, though i dont think anyone thought i was particularly interesting, which is okay.
I think if no one knew I was there I probably would have walked away (bc itd be embarrassing to tell my sick friend i made it all the way into downtown just to pussy out) but i think im glad i stuck around. idk. I didnt make any true connection with anyone there, but it felt like a good start.
I guess my question is or maybe im just looking for encouragement but ??? am i doing this right ?? I always have this fear that when i set out to do something im actually being an idiot and doing it wrong and stunting myself. is it okay to set these expectations for myself of not forcing myself to talk to strangers, as long as i show up its okay? I figure one day soon ill get kind of bored w the event itself and gradually get braver to start talking to people organically. is this a good strat do ppl have recommendations idk im the #1 shut in i dont know how to do this !!!
#relationships
source
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