I replaced "I should" with "I choose to" and it rewired…
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I replaced "I should" with "I choose to" and it rewired how I approach everything
For years my internal monologue was dominated by "I should" statements. I should go to the gym. I should eat healthier. I should work on that project.
The problem with "should" is that it implies obligation and guilt. Every "should" carries an invisible "but I don't want to" behind it. So my brain associated positive activities with resistance.
A therapist suggested I replace every "should" with "choose to" or "choose not to." Same activities, completely different framing.
When you say "I choose to," you're acknowledging agency. You're actively deciding how to spend your time. And when you say "I choose not to," you're being honest instead of carrying guilt about something you were never going to do anyway.
The unexpected effect was that I started doing MORE of the things I previously guilted myself about. Because once they became choices instead of obligations, the resistance disappeared.
Three months in and my relationship with productivity, health, and even relationships has fundamentally shifted. Fewer things, more intention, zero resentment.
#inspiration
source
For years my internal monologue was dominated by "I should" statements. I should go to the gym. I should eat healthier. I should work on that project.
The problem with "should" is that it implies obligation and guilt. Every "should" carries an invisible "but I don't want to" behind it. So my brain associated positive activities with resistance.
A therapist suggested I replace every "should" with "choose to" or "choose not to." Same activities, completely different framing.
When you say "I choose to," you're acknowledging agency. You're actively deciding how to spend your time. And when you say "I choose not to," you're being honest instead of carrying guilt about something you were never going to do anyway.
The unexpected effect was that I started doing MORE of the things I previously guilted myself about. Because once they became choices instead of obligations, the resistance disappeared.
Three months in and my relationship with productivity, health, and even relationships has fundamentally shifted. Fewer things, more intention, zero resentment.
#inspiration
source
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