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New boots for the black cat with voodoo dolls
Yesterday I vented reminiscing about my dating life, how my idyllic dream never got to kickstart itself towards reality due to into certain part of getting to know someone new, I have felt left unseen.
After posting it I was laying on my bed, thinking to myself, is that really what I, as an individual, desire? Or was there a part of me that used to want that, and used to want being the home spirit and house wife, but the gold which I have used in putting myself back together, have brought up something new in me? Or was it that I had not seen something in me, and was reflecting the desires of the individuals I met with, that this is how we'll make us fit? None of the people I met who reflected this daydream to be materialized into something real, felt they could see the dream unfolding with me. Maybe, it wasn't them not seeing me or their insecurities or need of healing, but that deep inside, there is a part of me that couldn't see me.
Was that what I wanted from my dating life right now, truly? A deep connection with another individual with mutual investment, effort and commitment to a cause, or was the truth that what I really desire and need right now, is confidence in my natural desirability, and having a good time.
Maybe, what I want right now, is new leather boots that make the statement I am going to step on you. Maybe, now I want to dance with the dark side of the moon. Head to a city and book a funky cheap hotel, find an unsuspecting victim, seduce them and drag them by the collar to the hotel. When they wake up they realize I took their money, and think she must have slipped me a sleeping pill. Take myself a souvenier of hair, and make myself a voodoo doll. Maybe I want to head to a rock concert, and be the reason the lyrics to their next song is about a she-wolf.
Maybe, dating right now needs to be an exploration. A world trip around the world in one hundred and eighty days, savoring every taste, every morsel, every bite. To shine like the the colors of the rainbow, play with my desires like the eighty eight notes of a piano, say good bye to the summer dresses and the straw hats and hello to the corsets and leather pants. Be the radiant sun that scorches the earth and the moon that conjures tidal waves. All by myself. All, for me.
Let myself gyrate in my emotions until my body's own pheronomes ask do you swipe right, tongue kiss five people at a party and dance through the night. Be a stray black cat in the moon light. Maybe, I will accidentally be bewitched by a person who I say is alright.
#relationships
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Yesterday I vented reminiscing about my dating life, how my idyllic dream never got to kickstart itself towards reality due to into certain part of getting to know someone new, I have felt left unseen.
After posting it I was laying on my bed, thinking to myself, is that really what I, as an individual, desire? Or was there a part of me that used to want that, and used to want being the home spirit and house wife, but the gold which I have used in putting myself back together, have brought up something new in me? Or was it that I had not seen something in me, and was reflecting the desires of the individuals I met with, that this is how we'll make us fit? None of the people I met who reflected this daydream to be materialized into something real, felt they could see the dream unfolding with me. Maybe, it wasn't them not seeing me or their insecurities or need of healing, but that deep inside, there is a part of me that couldn't see me.
Was that what I wanted from my dating life right now, truly? A deep connection with another individual with mutual investment, effort and commitment to a cause, or was the truth that what I really desire and need right now, is confidence in my natural desirability, and having a good time.
Maybe, what I want right now, is new leather boots that make the statement I am going to step on you. Maybe, now I want to dance with the dark side of the moon. Head to a city and book a funky cheap hotel, find an unsuspecting victim, seduce them and drag them by the collar to the hotel. When they wake up they realize I took their money, and think she must have slipped me a sleeping pill. Take myself a souvenier of hair, and make myself a voodoo doll. Maybe I want to head to a rock concert, and be the reason the lyrics to their next song is about a she-wolf.
Maybe, dating right now needs to be an exploration. A world trip around the world in one hundred and eighty days, savoring every taste, every morsel, every bite. To shine like the the colors of the rainbow, play with my desires like the eighty eight notes of a piano, say good bye to the summer dresses and the straw hats and hello to the corsets and leather pants. Be the radiant sun that scorches the earth and the moon that conjures tidal waves. All by myself. All, for me.
Let myself gyrate in my emotions until my body's own pheronomes ask do you swipe right, tongue kiss five people at a party and dance through the night. Be a stray black cat in the moon light. Maybe, I will accidentally be bewitched by a person who I say is alright.
#relationships
source
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