Islam is NOT a feminist religion I had a mind-boggling…
0 reactions
Islam is NOT a feminist religion
I had a mind-boggling debate with a girl at my university today. She was genuinely trying to convince me that Islam is actually a "feminist" religion. Her main argument? The classic claim that a wife isn't legally required to do housework, can demand money for cooking and cleaning, and can even charge her husband a fee to breastfeed their own baby. She framed it like it’s some kind of ultimate luxury and protection for women. But honestly, when you look past that financial wrap, it’s not empowering at all—it’s actually pretty degrading.
In traditional jurisprudence, marriage (*Nikah*) isn't set up as an equal partnership. It’s basically a transaction where a man pays a fee (*Mahr*) and basic living expenses (*Nafaqah*) for exclusive sexual access to a woman's body. Once you see it as a contract for sexual availability, the whole "getting paid to breastfeed" thing isn't a privilege anymore—it’s just the logical outcome of that deal. Since his money only covers her in the bedroom and staying at home, anything else she does, like feeding her own child or making a meal, gets treated like an extra service from a hired worker. It totally strips away the human side of motherhood and turns it into a paid task inside her own family.
And look at how unfair it is when a woman wants out. A man can end the marriage instantly by just saying it out loud (*Talaq*), with zero court hassle or justification. But a woman? She doesn't have that direct right. Her main way out is *Khul'*, which is basically buying back her freedom. She has to give up her financial rights, return the *Mahr*, and essentially pay a ransom to get her life back. If she can't afford it, or if he refuses to accept the money, she’s stuck. Her body remains legally tied to him as long as he provides basic food and shelter, backed by religious rulings that tell her she’ll be cursed if she says no to him in bed.
Even the laws around children show how one-sided it is. In a normal marriage, a mother has no real legal guardianship or lineage rights over her kids—they belong entirely to the father’s name and family. The only time a child is legally tied to the mother’s name and carries her lineage as the primary parent is when the baby is born out of wedlock (an "illegitimate child"). The system denies a woman the legal honor of passing down her name to her children when everything is legit, but is super quick to stamp her name on a child when there’s social shame and stigma to carry alone.
Calling this setup "feminist" just because a woman can charge for her breast milk is wild to me. Paying a woman for milk while taking away her right to leave a bad marriage, taking away her legal control over her kids, and holding her body hostage until she refunds her original price isn't freedom. It's just a rigid deal where a woman’s worth is tied to sexual access, and every extra payout is just rent.
Looking back at it now that the debate is over, I honestly feel a bit of regret for getting so heated. We were on campus, and in a deeply conservative Muslim country, arguing about this stuff out loud isn't exactly safe. The girl looked pretty shocked by how intense I got, and part of me is paranoid she might report me or say something. Luckily, nothing was recorded, so I feel a bit safer, but it was definitely a reality check to be way more careful with who I talk to next time.
#religion
source
I had a mind-boggling debate with a girl at my university today. She was genuinely trying to convince me that Islam is actually a "feminist" religion. Her main argument? The classic claim that a wife isn't legally required to do housework, can demand money for cooking and cleaning, and can even charge her husband a fee to breastfeed their own baby. She framed it like it’s some kind of ultimate luxury and protection for women. But honestly, when you look past that financial wrap, it’s not empowering at all—it’s actually pretty degrading.
In traditional jurisprudence, marriage (*Nikah*) isn't set up as an equal partnership. It’s basically a transaction where a man pays a fee (*Mahr*) and basic living expenses (*Nafaqah*) for exclusive sexual access to a woman's body. Once you see it as a contract for sexual availability, the whole "getting paid to breastfeed" thing isn't a privilege anymore—it’s just the logical outcome of that deal. Since his money only covers her in the bedroom and staying at home, anything else she does, like feeding her own child or making a meal, gets treated like an extra service from a hired worker. It totally strips away the human side of motherhood and turns it into a paid task inside her own family.
And look at how unfair it is when a woman wants out. A man can end the marriage instantly by just saying it out loud (*Talaq*), with zero court hassle or justification. But a woman? She doesn't have that direct right. Her main way out is *Khul'*, which is basically buying back her freedom. She has to give up her financial rights, return the *Mahr*, and essentially pay a ransom to get her life back. If she can't afford it, or if he refuses to accept the money, she’s stuck. Her body remains legally tied to him as long as he provides basic food and shelter, backed by religious rulings that tell her she’ll be cursed if she says no to him in bed.
Even the laws around children show how one-sided it is. In a normal marriage, a mother has no real legal guardianship or lineage rights over her kids—they belong entirely to the father’s name and family. The only time a child is legally tied to the mother’s name and carries her lineage as the primary parent is when the baby is born out of wedlock (an "illegitimate child"). The system denies a woman the legal honor of passing down her name to her children when everything is legit, but is super quick to stamp her name on a child when there’s social shame and stigma to carry alone.
Calling this setup "feminist" just because a woman can charge for her breast milk is wild to me. Paying a woman for milk while taking away her right to leave a bad marriage, taking away her legal control over her kids, and holding her body hostage until she refunds her original price isn't freedom. It's just a rigid deal where a woman’s worth is tied to sexual access, and every extra payout is just rent.
Looking back at it now that the debate is over, I honestly feel a bit of regret for getting so heated. We were on campus, and in a deeply conservative Muslim country, arguing about this stuff out loud isn't exactly safe. The girl looked pretty shocked by how intense I got, and part of me is paranoid she might report me or say something. Luckily, nothing was recorded, so I feel a bit safer, but it was definitely a reality check to be way more careful with who I talk to next time.
#religion
source
| 4,000 mlx | |
| 7 | |
| 0 |