I am at a loss. My 3 year old has meltdowns that last for…
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I am at a loss. My 3 year old has meltdowns that last for 2-3 hours and I need advice.
Hi, I will try to keep this brief. I have a 3 year old that throws tantrums and meltdowns that last for very long periods of time. They always start from the smallest of things which I think is normal toddler behavior. Today it was because I simultaneously wouldn't/would help her open up her toothpaste tube. She will begin to scream at me to which I will usually respond by saying something like, "I don't respond to screaming." The screaming will get so bad that I will try to calm her down by distracting her. Usually asking her to tell me the color of the wall or count how many fingers I have. That doesn't always work however and she will usually go right back to screaming after I have "distracted" her for a bit.
The tantrum becomes a meltdown and the meltdown feels impossible to come back from. She will thrash and scream in dangerous ways. I have to pick her up and bring her to her room to avoid her hitting her head or herself on the tile or wood floors. At a certain point I will just try to ignore her until she is ready to calm down and that rarely works. After about 1.5 hours I will feel so hopeless, angry, and frustrated that I break down crying. I cry so hard my head hurts and it typically makes the meltdowns from my child worse though at a certain point I can't help but cry.
When the meltdowns have reached past 2.5 hours I have no choice but to keep her in a room and take a break from her for a half hour. I feel so angry and frustrated that I feel like I am going insane. I usually have to give up on any plans we had for the day and just try to calm her down by distracting her with books or toys.
I keep getting torn about what is best to do. If I distract her, isn't that rewarding the tantruming behavior? If I ignore her is that telling her that her mom won't comfort her? I don't know it is all just so confusing.
I have been reading the book "How to Talk to So Little Kids Will Listen" and I have admittedly only gotten through the first two chapters but I can't even imagine how any of the strategies would help if my child won't even hear me talk in the first place.
Anyway, any/all help is appreciated!
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Hi, I will try to keep this brief. I have a 3 year old that throws tantrums and meltdowns that last for very long periods of time. They always start from the smallest of things which I think is normal toddler behavior. Today it was because I simultaneously wouldn't/would help her open up her toothpaste tube. She will begin to scream at me to which I will usually respond by saying something like, "I don't respond to screaming." The screaming will get so bad that I will try to calm her down by distracting her. Usually asking her to tell me the color of the wall or count how many fingers I have. That doesn't always work however and she will usually go right back to screaming after I have "distracted" her for a bit.
The tantrum becomes a meltdown and the meltdown feels impossible to come back from. She will thrash and scream in dangerous ways. I have to pick her up and bring her to her room to avoid her hitting her head or herself on the tile or wood floors. At a certain point I will just try to ignore her until she is ready to calm down and that rarely works. After about 1.5 hours I will feel so hopeless, angry, and frustrated that I break down crying. I cry so hard my head hurts and it typically makes the meltdowns from my child worse though at a certain point I can't help but cry.
When the meltdowns have reached past 2.5 hours I have no choice but to keep her in a room and take a break from her for a half hour. I feel so angry and frustrated that I feel like I am going insane. I usually have to give up on any plans we had for the day and just try to calm her down by distracting her with books or toys.
I keep getting torn about what is best to do. If I distract her, isn't that rewarding the tantruming behavior? If I ignore her is that telling her that her mom won't comfort her? I don't know it is all just so confusing.
I have been reading the book "How to Talk to So Little Kids Will Listen" and I have admittedly only gotten through the first two chapters but I can't even imagine how any of the strategies would help if my child won't even hear me talk in the first place.
Anyway, any/all help is appreciated!
#relationships
source
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