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Do you feel like some people just win a “lottery” with friends despite social skills?
I’ve been pretty proactive about being social and making friends since I was about 16. I’m 32 now and I feel honestly close to nobody and making friends becomes incrementally harder at this age. I’ve had somewhat of a unique life experience in that I’ve lived in 11 cities here in the US and never really had a hometown. When I meet most people, it’s like they have a place they can call home and I feel like besides they can’t really empathize with somebody like me, it also feels hard to become friends with people who already have something that feels like “their own” no matter how hard you try. I know a lot of people I know too are straightforward they have no desire to make friends because “I have everything I need”, in their words.
Regardless, I still make sure to hang out and go to events where possible. I live in a large US city where there are a lot of transplants and it seems like most of them plan to go back home at some point, whereas I don’t have a place called home like that in my life and as a result have no clue where I want to live long term. In my life experience, I feel like a lot of people honestly just get lucky with friends, mostly by virtue of growing up somewhere or being in the right place at the right time. My cousin for example is an absolute homebody compared to me and yet he announced one day he’s getting married and my entire family was kind of surprised bc he has no social skills. I think what worked in his favor is that he is a medical doctor from a prestigious school.
Meanwhile, I’ve met sooo many people throughout life in all these 11 cities and nothing sticks and nobody seems to remember me even, though I remember a lot about people. It’s so exhausting sometimes, I honestly feel like just accepting maybe I won’t ever really find friends who I feel I belong with.
I’ve been pretty proactive about being social and making friends since I was about 16. I’m 32 now and I feel honestly close to nobody and making friends becomes incrementally harder at this age. I’ve had somewhat of a unique life experience in that I’ve lived in 11 cities here in the US and never really had a hometown. When I meet most people, it’s like they have a place they can call home and I feel like besides they can’t really empathize with somebody like me, it also feels hard to become friends with people who already have something that feels like “their own” no matter how hard you try. I know a lot of people I know too are straightforward they have no desire to make friends because “I have everything I need”, in their words.
Regardless, I still make sure to hang out and go to events where possible. I live in a large US city where there are a lot of transplants and it seems like most of them plan to go back home at some point, whereas I don’t have a place called home like that in my life and as a result have no clue where I want to live long term. In my life experience, I feel like a lot of people honestly just get lucky with friends, mostly by virtue of growing up somewhere or being in the right place at the right time. My cousin for example is an absolute homebody compared to me and yet he announced one day he’s getting married and my entire family was kind of surprised bc he has no social skills. I think what worked in his favor is that he is a medical doctor from a prestigious school.
Meanwhile, I’ve met sooo many people throughout life in all these 11 cities and nothing sticks and nobody seems to remember me even, though I remember a lot about people. It’s so exhausting sometimes, I honestly feel like just accepting maybe I won’t ever really find friends who I feel I belong with.
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