0 reactions
How do I stop feeling so different from others?
My social skills have dramatically improved over the past 10 years, and even more this year since I started meeting a lot more people, making new friends, and going out more. However, I still feel a block between me and other people. I want to connect, relax, and be able to be fully present and myself. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. Even when I felt I did well socially, it doesn’t lead to a friendship. I’m learning my expectations can put a lot of pressure on myself, and that I don’t need to try so hard.
At 28, it still feels like I’m trying on different personalities. I still experience a conflict between wanting to fit in and being “myself” (still figuring that out surprisingly). But what’s been bothering me lately is that I look at my friends/acquaintances and a lot of them seem to have fulfilling friendships with people similar to them.
I have friends that are super Christian and don’t even cuss. I tend to withhold my real humor with them and censor myself. I find myself wanting more energy from them too. I have friends I drink and party with. I feel more open and free with them, but we have some differing values and our friendships feel shallow sometimes. I have friends in between, and who I’ve felt the most myself with but they’re flakey as hell lmao
I notice I have different personalities depending on who I’m hanging out with and it kinda feels existentially disorienting lol so I’ve been working on consolidating my different identities into a more consistent one regardless of the environment I’m in. I’m just not sure if I’ll ever find friends that feel like home. Different people get different parts of me, but I desire to have friends who fully get me and who I can fully be myself with. Is that unrealistic?
Why do I feel a block between me and others? Am I doing something wrong? Do I just need to keep meeting more people and hope I find mine?
#relationships
source
My social skills have dramatically improved over the past 10 years, and even more this year since I started meeting a lot more people, making new friends, and going out more. However, I still feel a block between me and other people. I want to connect, relax, and be able to be fully present and myself. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. Even when I felt I did well socially, it doesn’t lead to a friendship. I’m learning my expectations can put a lot of pressure on myself, and that I don’t need to try so hard.
At 28, it still feels like I’m trying on different personalities. I still experience a conflict between wanting to fit in and being “myself” (still figuring that out surprisingly). But what’s been bothering me lately is that I look at my friends/acquaintances and a lot of them seem to have fulfilling friendships with people similar to them.
I have friends that are super Christian and don’t even cuss. I tend to withhold my real humor with them and censor myself. I find myself wanting more energy from them too. I have friends I drink and party with. I feel more open and free with them, but we have some differing values and our friendships feel shallow sometimes. I have friends in between, and who I’ve felt the most myself with but they’re flakey as hell lmao
I notice I have different personalities depending on who I’m hanging out with and it kinda feels existentially disorienting lol so I’ve been working on consolidating my different identities into a more consistent one regardless of the environment I’m in. I’m just not sure if I’ll ever find friends that feel like home. Different people get different parts of me, but I desire to have friends who fully get me and who I can fully be myself with. Is that unrealistic?
Why do I feel a block between me and others? Am I doing something wrong? Do I just need to keep meeting more people and hope I find mine?
#relationships
source
| 2,000 mlx | |
| 3 | |
| 0 |