How to become the person people really care about, instead…
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How to become the person people really care about, instead of the one they show droplets of attention to ?
About a year ago, I noticed that I was on the bottom wrong of my two friend group chats (one a work group and one a personal group I left both groups and have been trying to work on myself and make new friends
I'm still finding that the people who "stick around" in my life have either wanted something from me, or they won for long periods of time but then come back expressing concern right before asking me to do something for them or buy something from them
Well I'm glad to be seeing the signs that I never really saw before, it makes me sad that I can't point to one genuine person in my life (family included) that actually enjoys my company or cares about me
Except for my boys. Who still love on me, text from time to time (though not as much as I want, I understand they have to I have to let them grow up). So that gives me a little bit of comfort I at least was a good mom
But I'd really like friends. I'd like people to go to lunch with and a shop with and send silly pictures memes videos or have debates about the world
I see other people have that with their friends, and I don't see that there any better than I am. When I meet someone new I try really hard to learn about them and let them take the lead in the conversation (so if they want to learn more about me and tell them more if they don't I might offer something and see if they bite otherwise keep the conversation on them
I read somewhere that when people have been abused in their past they send out "i've been abused" signals that repel healthy friendships and attract toxic friendships. But even with going to therapy I can't figure out how to stop sending out those vibes and start attracting people into my life that I can both care for and they care for me
#relationships
source
About a year ago, I noticed that I was on the bottom wrong of my two friend group chats (one a work group and one a personal group I left both groups and have been trying to work on myself and make new friends
I'm still finding that the people who "stick around" in my life have either wanted something from me, or they won for long periods of time but then come back expressing concern right before asking me to do something for them or buy something from them
Well I'm glad to be seeing the signs that I never really saw before, it makes me sad that I can't point to one genuine person in my life (family included) that actually enjoys my company or cares about me
Except for my boys. Who still love on me, text from time to time (though not as much as I want, I understand they have to I have to let them grow up). So that gives me a little bit of comfort I at least was a good mom
But I'd really like friends. I'd like people to go to lunch with and a shop with and send silly pictures memes videos or have debates about the world
I see other people have that with their friends, and I don't see that there any better than I am. When I meet someone new I try really hard to learn about them and let them take the lead in the conversation (so if they want to learn more about me and tell them more if they don't I might offer something and see if they bite otherwise keep the conversation on them
I read somewhere that when people have been abused in their past they send out "i've been abused" signals that repel healthy friendships and attract toxic friendships. But even with going to therapy I can't figure out how to stop sending out those vibes and start attracting people into my life that I can both care for and they care for me
#relationships
source
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