I don't know how to be fake. ​ Listen, I know it's…
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I don't know how to be fake.
​
Listen, I know it's not good to be fake but honestly if some conversation or person bores me or I just don't want to talk to them, I'll get quiet. If i feel like they don't understand me of we're just not compatible, I'll start to dissociate and i have this feeling of just not being there mentally. Some people can fake being happy or being fine with someone even tho they don't get along that well but I can't do that. I genuinely can't.
This is how I ended up with zero friends in my new class in high school. Zero. I'm not aligning with any of them and it's making me quiet.
I just DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE FAKE.
If you bore me ,i will be quiet.
If I don't vibe with your energy, i will be quiet.
I just don't know how to pretend.
For example today i got a gift from my mom's friend and i just COULDN'T show happiness at all, not because it was bad or that I wasn't grateful, I just.. was neutral about it and idk how to fake being happy.
She seemed mad that i wasn't excited and i wished i could fake my excitement but I can't.
I can't fake anything. I just become quiet or very awkward.
What is wrong with me.
#relationships
source
​
Listen, I know it's not good to be fake but honestly if some conversation or person bores me or I just don't want to talk to them, I'll get quiet. If i feel like they don't understand me of we're just not compatible, I'll start to dissociate and i have this feeling of just not being there mentally. Some people can fake being happy or being fine with someone even tho they don't get along that well but I can't do that. I genuinely can't.
This is how I ended up with zero friends in my new class in high school. Zero. I'm not aligning with any of them and it's making me quiet.
I just DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE FAKE.
If you bore me ,i will be quiet.
If I don't vibe with your energy, i will be quiet.
I just don't know how to pretend.
For example today i got a gift from my mom's friend and i just COULDN'T show happiness at all, not because it was bad or that I wasn't grateful, I just.. was neutral about it and idk how to fake being happy.
She seemed mad that i wasn't excited and i wished i could fake my excitement but I can't.
I can't fake anything. I just become quiet or very awkward.
What is wrong with me.
#relationships
source
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