I’m losing my ability to finish full sentences I go…
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I’m losing my ability to finish full sentences
I go through long periods of time where I don’t engage in conversation with anyone, and it’s negatively impacted my ability to communicate effectively in a significant way. I often find myself unable to find the right words and fully finish my sentences. I will use a lot of filler words, long pauses, waiting, and rely a lot on others to find the words and finish my sentences for me. I’ll say things like “you know?” with the hopes that the other person understands what I’m trying to say without actually saying it. I’ll start a thought and halfway through I’ll say “…um, yeah”without actually finishing what I was trying to say, and expect the other person to pick it up from there. And when I do talk, I feel like I speak like a child or sound deeply unintelligent; it feels like it’s obvious that I don’t talk to people often.
It feels amplified because I work around a lot of highly educated, wildly intelligent people (I work at a university but I’m not faculty). Even young students make me feel stupid sometimes.
I know the most effective remedy is to simply talk to more people more often but I’m having a hard time finding ways to do that regularly. I am trying to find ways to make friends, I try to go out as much as I can, make cordial conversation with strangers and workers and the like, but those kinds of conversations are usually too brief. It’s okay practice, but I crave long, involved, intimate, deeper, stimulating conversations.
I’ve considered going on dates again (without the intent of actually dating) to accomplish this, but that feels disingenuous and more trouble than it might be worth. Therapy helps, but doesn’t feel as spontaneous as having conversations with people I encounter in my personal life. My best option I’ve considered is joining a book club because it checks so many boxes in regards to what I’m trying to accomplish for my conversation goals.
If you’ve experienced this or are currently experiencing this, what worked well for you, or how do you cope? I’ve tried doing verbal journals just so I can stay in the habit of actually speaking out loud and organizing my thoughts, but practicing speaking alone feels like half the battle, I feel like I HAVE to talk to people if I want to get better at speaking, but struggling at how to go about it.
#relationships
source
I go through long periods of time where I don’t engage in conversation with anyone, and it’s negatively impacted my ability to communicate effectively in a significant way. I often find myself unable to find the right words and fully finish my sentences. I will use a lot of filler words, long pauses, waiting, and rely a lot on others to find the words and finish my sentences for me. I’ll say things like “you know?” with the hopes that the other person understands what I’m trying to say without actually saying it. I’ll start a thought and halfway through I’ll say “…um, yeah”without actually finishing what I was trying to say, and expect the other person to pick it up from there. And when I do talk, I feel like I speak like a child or sound deeply unintelligent; it feels like it’s obvious that I don’t talk to people often.
It feels amplified because I work around a lot of highly educated, wildly intelligent people (I work at a university but I’m not faculty). Even young students make me feel stupid sometimes.
I know the most effective remedy is to simply talk to more people more often but I’m having a hard time finding ways to do that regularly. I am trying to find ways to make friends, I try to go out as much as I can, make cordial conversation with strangers and workers and the like, but those kinds of conversations are usually too brief. It’s okay practice, but I crave long, involved, intimate, deeper, stimulating conversations.
I’ve considered going on dates again (without the intent of actually dating) to accomplish this, but that feels disingenuous and more trouble than it might be worth. Therapy helps, but doesn’t feel as spontaneous as having conversations with people I encounter in my personal life. My best option I’ve considered is joining a book club because it checks so many boxes in regards to what I’m trying to accomplish for my conversation goals.
If you’ve experienced this or are currently experiencing this, what worked well for you, or how do you cope? I’ve tried doing verbal journals just so I can stay in the habit of actually speaking out loud and organizing my thoughts, but practicing speaking alone feels like half the battle, I feel like I HAVE to talk to people if I want to get better at speaking, but struggling at how to go about it.
#relationships
source
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