How to make friends without seeming needy? These days I…
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How to make friends without seeming needy?
These days I only talk to a few people, and most of that happens at work just because I’m sitting next to them. We’re all pretty busy overall. What I realized is that the deeper friendships I made were with people who sought me out more, and that I was rarely the one starting conversations.
So I decided I could put more effort in, like starting conversations more often and texting people when something reminds me of them. I always try to open with some context and I read whether the person is up for talking, because if they’re not, I stop. The funny thing is some of them actually reach back out and do the same, so I figure maybe I’m doing it right.
For example, I’m getting closer to a friend I really like (just friendship). We always talk really well, except when I can tell she’s busy or not into it. As we got closer she started reaching out to me too, always with some context (she saw something that reminded her of me, or brought up something we’d talked about before…). I reach out to her about once a week, and some weeks I skip it on purpose so I don’t come off as clingy.
The thing is, I have this huge insecurity about being seen as someone who needs attention (even though I’m kind of avoidant myself). I do love being around friends and lately I’ve been missing that, even though I’ve always been the type who loves doing everything alone.
So, do you guys think my way of trying to make friends is okay? I get that it’s hard to judge with so little context, and it might come across as messy since I’m actually trying to put this into words for the first time. But how do you be intentional with people without looking desperate? Thanks.
#relationships
source
These days I only talk to a few people, and most of that happens at work just because I’m sitting next to them. We’re all pretty busy overall. What I realized is that the deeper friendships I made were with people who sought me out more, and that I was rarely the one starting conversations.
So I decided I could put more effort in, like starting conversations more often and texting people when something reminds me of them. I always try to open with some context and I read whether the person is up for talking, because if they’re not, I stop. The funny thing is some of them actually reach back out and do the same, so I figure maybe I’m doing it right.
For example, I’m getting closer to a friend I really like (just friendship). We always talk really well, except when I can tell she’s busy or not into it. As we got closer she started reaching out to me too, always with some context (she saw something that reminded her of me, or brought up something we’d talked about before…). I reach out to her about once a week, and some weeks I skip it on purpose so I don’t come off as clingy.
The thing is, I have this huge insecurity about being seen as someone who needs attention (even though I’m kind of avoidant myself). I do love being around friends and lately I’ve been missing that, even though I’ve always been the type who loves doing everything alone.
So, do you guys think my way of trying to make friends is okay? I get that it’s hard to judge with so little context, and it might come across as messy since I’m actually trying to put this into words for the first time. But how do you be intentional with people without looking desperate? Thanks.
#relationships
source
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