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Probably one of the worst days of my life as a parent
My husband and I were taking our daughter out for ice cream today. My mother is visiting from out of state and came with us. We are waiting in line at the stand, it's a long line out into the parking lot, and idk if this is what caused it but my daughter (4) starts running around a bit in the lot and her dad and I told her no, no that's dangerous, otherwise everything seemed fine.
She then starts making faces at us and blowing raspberries which whatever but then she pushed her dad then me. Though it was gently we were like hey what's going on? We got down on her level and asked why she is angry. First she said a boy in line wasn't being nice to her which I'm sure we would have noticed but when we tried to get more information about it she didn't have any, then she said she was mad at us. We did the whole talk about using words and how we are doing something nice by getting ice cream and we do not hit. She then lightly elbows me while giving me the look of what are you going to do. I said ok no ice cream let's go and her dad starts carrying her out of line.
Here comes the bad part. She immediately starts screaming and crying and kicking, then my mom is yelling "No!! What are you doing!! That is so mean!! No no I'll get her ice cream!" Yelling at me causing a bigger scene. I said " I am her mother, she pushed us then elbowed me" my mom says "she's a child! She's 4!!" I said you don't get rewards for hitting. My husband puts my daughter on top of the car so we can talk to her and try to calm her down. She's screaming, hysterical and we are trying to calm her down and ask what happened, why did she hit again. My mom goes to sit in the car then comes out again starts yelling at us that we are causing a scene and someone is going to call the cops because my daughter is screaming. "People are looking at you!!" My mom is yelling, then she walks away. She comes back crying saying "children are innocent in the eyes of God!!" I'm like omg..then my daughter starts yelling at me that I wasn't being nice to Grammy and it wasn't okay. Then you hear a kid at the house next door saying what isn't OK!?! We just ignored him then his dad comes out and goes is everything OK over there! Like omg have these people never had a kid who threw a tantrum!? She hit! No ice cream! She has big feelings, I mean it's normal right?! Then my mom said that people are going to think she's being abused. At this point I felt so embarrassed and overwhelmed I told her she could have ice cream this time but we do not hit or push and if we do it again we will leave immediately.
I am so sad and angry, I want to cry but I can't because I'm still so shocked at my moms behavior. My mom was abusive to me as a child, I wasn't allowed big feelings! She used to hit me! I know I shouldn't have gotten my daughter the ice cream but I just wanted to stop us being on display.
It was awful and I just want to lay by myself and cry.
EDIT** WOW I did not expect this to blow up! Thank you so much to everyone for your answers. My mom apologized last night she said its just too hard seeing my daughter upset, like of course its hard but she still needs to understand whats right and wrong. I need to talk to my mom and I should to my daughter about how her grammys actions were not ok, I just don't mentally have it in me.
Today has been rough, my mom is still here but I've been avoiding her, my daughter went from being all over me last night after this incident to now seeming angry and not wanting me around today. It's probably because she can tell I'm not myself so I dont blame her, I suck at hiding my feelings. I am just so, so sad. I just want it to go away. Thank you for listening everyone.
My husband and I were taking our daughter out for ice cream today. My mother is visiting from out of state and came with us. We are waiting in line at the stand, it's a long line out into the parking lot, and idk if this is what caused it but my daughter (4) starts running around a bit in the lot and her dad and I told her no, no that's dangerous, otherwise everything seemed fine.
She then starts making faces at us and blowing raspberries which whatever but then she pushed her dad then me. Though it was gently we were like hey what's going on? We got down on her level and asked why she is angry. First she said a boy in line wasn't being nice to her which I'm sure we would have noticed but when we tried to get more information about it she didn't have any, then she said she was mad at us. We did the whole talk about using words and how we are doing something nice by getting ice cream and we do not hit. She then lightly elbows me while giving me the look of what are you going to do. I said ok no ice cream let's go and her dad starts carrying her out of line.
Here comes the bad part. She immediately starts screaming and crying and kicking, then my mom is yelling "No!! What are you doing!! That is so mean!! No no I'll get her ice cream!" Yelling at me causing a bigger scene. I said " I am her mother, she pushed us then elbowed me" my mom says "she's a child! She's 4!!" I said you don't get rewards for hitting. My husband puts my daughter on top of the car so we can talk to her and try to calm her down. She's screaming, hysterical and we are trying to calm her down and ask what happened, why did she hit again. My mom goes to sit in the car then comes out again starts yelling at us that we are causing a scene and someone is going to call the cops because my daughter is screaming. "People are looking at you!!" My mom is yelling, then she walks away. She comes back crying saying "children are innocent in the eyes of God!!" I'm like omg..then my daughter starts yelling at me that I wasn't being nice to Grammy and it wasn't okay. Then you hear a kid at the house next door saying what isn't OK!?! We just ignored him then his dad comes out and goes is everything OK over there! Like omg have these people never had a kid who threw a tantrum!? She hit! No ice cream! She has big feelings, I mean it's normal right?! Then my mom said that people are going to think she's being abused. At this point I felt so embarrassed and overwhelmed I told her she could have ice cream this time but we do not hit or push and if we do it again we will leave immediately.
I am so sad and angry, I want to cry but I can't because I'm still so shocked at my moms behavior. My mom was abusive to me as a child, I wasn't allowed big feelings! She used to hit me! I know I shouldn't have gotten my daughter the ice cream but I just wanted to stop us being on display.
It was awful and I just want to lay by myself and cry.
EDIT** WOW I did not expect this to blow up! Thank you so much to everyone for your answers. My mom apologized last night she said its just too hard seeing my daughter upset, like of course its hard but she still needs to understand whats right and wrong. I need to talk to my mom and I should to my daughter about how her grammys actions were not ok, I just don't mentally have it in me.
Today has been rough, my mom is still here but I've been avoiding her, my daughter went from being all over me last night after this incident to now seeming angry and not wanting me around today. It's probably because she can tell I'm not myself so I dont blame her, I suck at hiding my feelings. I am just so, so sad. I just want it to go away. Thank you for listening everyone.
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