2 reactions
How do I help my 11y/o recover from the trauma of watching me get handcuffed
My son and I are out of town and last night we stayed up late gaming. At about 11pm he realized he'd left his toothbrush at home so I told him no big deal, maybe somewhere is still open.
Then I got pulled over because one of my taillights was burnt out. After I handed over my registration and license he went back to his car for forever and when he came back he was asking if I had any drugs or weapons on me. Obviously I said no but he kept shining his light in the backseat on my kid. Asked what we were doing out so late at night in another state like ten times. I repeatedly told him we were just looking for a gas station or somewhere to get a toothbrush. All of a sudden he told me to step out of the car so he could search it. As a black guy I know better than to question a cop's authority so I stepped out and he told my son to go sit in his cruiser. So then he started crying cause he was obviously scared. Next thing I know the cop is cuffing me and calling for backup. So finally I was like what the fuck did I do?? Why am I being arrested? And he says he's not arresting me, he's just making sure I don't run off while he searches my car. As if I would run when my fucking kid is in his car.
Another cop comes and I'm being forcibly held against the back of my car while the first guy searches it. There's nothing for them to find so as soon as he's done I tell him to let my son out and when they got him he was absolutely sobbing. When it was all finally over he told me he thought they were gonna kill me right in front of him. I'm so furious and upset, I didn't sleep all night and I don't know how to explain to him that this shit just... happens. And that you can't disagree with them because it's too dangerous. How do I comfort him?
*EDIT* thanks everyone for the love and support. I can't reply to every message but the positivity is greatly appreciated and overwhelming. My kid seems like he's okay after sleeping for a long time. He brought it up and we talked about it for a while, played Tetris as people recommended and even if it ends up not helping with the trauma, we at least discovered a game we both enjoy. To the people saying I must've left out information for this to have escalated so quickly, I envy you for thinking a cop needs a good reason to act this way around a poc. This is the reality for millions of people. This isn't the first time I've been treated this way by cops but it was the first time my son has been present for it which is what made it so horrifying for me. But we safely made it back home a little while ago and while my nerves are still shot I'm feeling a little more at ease knowing my kiddo seems like he's handling it okay.
My son and I are out of town and last night we stayed up late gaming. At about 11pm he realized he'd left his toothbrush at home so I told him no big deal, maybe somewhere is still open.
Then I got pulled over because one of my taillights was burnt out. After I handed over my registration and license he went back to his car for forever and when he came back he was asking if I had any drugs or weapons on me. Obviously I said no but he kept shining his light in the backseat on my kid. Asked what we were doing out so late at night in another state like ten times. I repeatedly told him we were just looking for a gas station or somewhere to get a toothbrush. All of a sudden he told me to step out of the car so he could search it. As a black guy I know better than to question a cop's authority so I stepped out and he told my son to go sit in his cruiser. So then he started crying cause he was obviously scared. Next thing I know the cop is cuffing me and calling for backup. So finally I was like what the fuck did I do?? Why am I being arrested? And he says he's not arresting me, he's just making sure I don't run off while he searches my car. As if I would run when my fucking kid is in his car.
Another cop comes and I'm being forcibly held against the back of my car while the first guy searches it. There's nothing for them to find so as soon as he's done I tell him to let my son out and when they got him he was absolutely sobbing. When it was all finally over he told me he thought they were gonna kill me right in front of him. I'm so furious and upset, I didn't sleep all night and I don't know how to explain to him that this shit just... happens. And that you can't disagree with them because it's too dangerous. How do I comfort him?
*EDIT* thanks everyone for the love and support. I can't reply to every message but the positivity is greatly appreciated and overwhelming. My kid seems like he's okay after sleeping for a long time. He brought it up and we talked about it for a while, played Tetris as people recommended and even if it ends up not helping with the trauma, we at least discovered a game we both enjoy. To the people saying I must've left out information for this to have escalated so quickly, I envy you for thinking a cop needs a good reason to act this way around a poc. This is the reality for millions of people. This isn't the first time I've been treated this way by cops but it was the first time my son has been present for it which is what made it so horrifying for me. But we safely made it back home a little while ago and while my nerves are still shot I'm feeling a little more at ease knowing my kiddo seems like he's handling it okay.
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