i finally realized why all my conversations felt like a…
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i finally realized why all my conversations felt like a job interview
i spent the last few years being absolutely $hit at talking to humans.
whenever i’d try to be *"social,*" my brain would just lag like a windows 95 computer.
i’d default to these boring, transactional interview questions:
*"hi, hru? what’s your major? do you like... stuff?"*
it was exhausting. i felt like an alien trying to pass as a person, and usually,
i’d end up accidentally calling a stranger "dad" or apologizing to a mannequin because i bumped into it (true story).
Sad I know..
honestly, i hated myself for it. i’d go home and replay my "cringe greatest hits" at 2 a.m. while my judgmental cat, stared at me like the wanted to sue me for not feeding him on time.
but i tried something different recently because i was tired of wanting to evaporate every time i stood in a coffee line.
**i stopped trying to be "normal" and started owning my weirdness.**
instead of panic-asking a 5th question about the weather, i just started admitting the truth in the moment.
the other day, a conversation died. instead of forcing it, i just said:
*sorry, i just realized i'm interrogating you like a police officer. my social brain is lagging today lol."*
the person actually laughed.
a real, non-pity laugh. the "glitch" was the thing that actually made us connect.
**here is the "drill" i’ve been using:**
next time you’re in a "transactional" loop, don't ask another question.
stop.
share a tiny, low-stakes truth about how you’re feeling right then.
something like:
*"i'm so caffeinated right now i've forgotten how to use nouns"* or
*"i always get nervous talking to people who look like they actually have their life together."*
it’s a social cheat code.
the moment you admit you aren't "perfect," the other person stops feeling like they have to be perfect, too.
it breaks the "interview" spell immediately.
i’m still a bit of a socially anxious potato, but at least i’m a potato that can survive a conversation without wanting to fake my own death.
if you’re spiraling today because you think you’re "broken," you’re not.
you’re just human, and humans are messy, cringey creatures.
hope this helps someone else who's currently overthinking a "hi" they said three hours ago.
#relationships
source
i spent the last few years being absolutely $hit at talking to humans.
whenever i’d try to be *"social,*" my brain would just lag like a windows 95 computer.
i’d default to these boring, transactional interview questions:
*"hi, hru? what’s your major? do you like... stuff?"*
it was exhausting. i felt like an alien trying to pass as a person, and usually,
i’d end up accidentally calling a stranger "dad" or apologizing to a mannequin because i bumped into it (true story).
Sad I know..
honestly, i hated myself for it. i’d go home and replay my "cringe greatest hits" at 2 a.m. while my judgmental cat, stared at me like the wanted to sue me for not feeding him on time.
but i tried something different recently because i was tired of wanting to evaporate every time i stood in a coffee line.
**i stopped trying to be "normal" and started owning my weirdness.**
instead of panic-asking a 5th question about the weather, i just started admitting the truth in the moment.
the other day, a conversation died. instead of forcing it, i just said:
*sorry, i just realized i'm interrogating you like a police officer. my social brain is lagging today lol."*
the person actually laughed.
a real, non-pity laugh. the "glitch" was the thing that actually made us connect.
**here is the "drill" i’ve been using:**
next time you’re in a "transactional" loop, don't ask another question.
stop.
share a tiny, low-stakes truth about how you’re feeling right then.
something like:
*"i'm so caffeinated right now i've forgotten how to use nouns"* or
*"i always get nervous talking to people who look like they actually have their life together."*
it’s a social cheat code.
the moment you admit you aren't "perfect," the other person stops feeling like they have to be perfect, too.
it breaks the "interview" spell immediately.
i’m still a bit of a socially anxious potato, but at least i’m a potato that can survive a conversation without wanting to fake my own death.
if you’re spiraling today because you think you’re "broken," you’re not.
you’re just human, and humans are messy, cringey creatures.
hope this helps someone else who's currently overthinking a "hi" they said three hours ago.
#relationships
source
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