How easily can a friend get "tired" of you? I was raised…
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How easily can a friend get "tired" of you? I was raised to think you shouldn't talk to friends too often, but I feel like that's a bit odd.
Lately I've been questioning the ideals I've been raised with. I was raised by an introverted and agoraphobic mother, and a sister who became introverted after living with our mom for so long. I am an extrovert, but grew up sheltered, and am actively trying to grow out of my naivete.
I wasn't discouraged from having friends, and was even popular in high school, but I didn't have much of a social life outside of school. I was told that you should give your friends a break if you talk to them often so they don't get tired of you. For example, I recently made a new friend from college and we've been calling almost every day. We've hung out a few times outside of campus, too. Yesterday my mom told me to give him a break.
I'm just now realizing how weird that is, though. If you like hanging out with someone and they like hanging with you, why would you cut that off? If they're "tired of you", shouldn't they communicate that? As long as you're not being overly clingy or annoying, I don't see why a break would be necessary.
I was also raised with, "Don't go to friends houses often. You're intruding on their space. It means you hate being in your home, too." But, once again...they're your friends. They like you. Surely they'd want you around, unless you were trashing the place? Growing up, I thought that children/teens going to friends' houses often in shows was a myth. I found out my senior year most people hung out with their friends *more* than 3-5 times a year.
...does my mom's advice have SOME merit? I'm 18 for context.
#relationships
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Lately I've been questioning the ideals I've been raised with. I was raised by an introverted and agoraphobic mother, and a sister who became introverted after living with our mom for so long. I am an extrovert, but grew up sheltered, and am actively trying to grow out of my naivete.
I wasn't discouraged from having friends, and was even popular in high school, but I didn't have much of a social life outside of school. I was told that you should give your friends a break if you talk to them often so they don't get tired of you. For example, I recently made a new friend from college and we've been calling almost every day. We've hung out a few times outside of campus, too. Yesterday my mom told me to give him a break.
I'm just now realizing how weird that is, though. If you like hanging out with someone and they like hanging with you, why would you cut that off? If they're "tired of you", shouldn't they communicate that? As long as you're not being overly clingy or annoying, I don't see why a break would be necessary.
I was also raised with, "Don't go to friends houses often. You're intruding on their space. It means you hate being in your home, too." But, once again...they're your friends. They like you. Surely they'd want you around, unless you were trashing the place? Growing up, I thought that children/teens going to friends' houses often in shows was a myth. I found out my senior year most people hung out with their friends *more* than 3-5 times a year.
...does my mom's advice have SOME merit? I'm 18 for context.
#relationships
source
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