you kept every promise to everyone except the ones you…
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you kept every promise to everyone except the ones you made to yourself
think about the last time you cancelled something on yourself.
not on someone else. on yourself. the run you were going to go on that got pushed to tomorrow and then the next day. the thing you said you'd start this month, the one you've been saying since the month before that. the boundary you told yourself you'd hold the next time that situation came up, and then didn't, because in the moment it felt easier to let it slide one more time.
you probably didn't even feel it when it happened. cancelling on yourself doesn't come with the guilt that cancelling on other people does. nobody texted you to ask where you were. nobody was waiting. so it just dissolved quietly and the day moved on and you told yourself you'd make up for it later.
but later keeps having the same problem later always has.
the strange thing is you're actually excellent at keeping commitments. you show up for other people reliably, the kind of reliable they've come to count on without saying thank you for it anymore. you follow through on things you told someone else you'd do even when you don't feel like it, because letting them down carries a weight that letting yourself down somehow doesn't.
you've trained yourself to take everyone else's time and expectations seriously. you never applied the same standard to your own.
so the promises you made to yourself, the ones about how you were going to treat your own time, your own energy, your own goals, those became the first things to move when something else needed the space. negotiable. postponeable. something you'd get to once everything and everyone else was handled.
and there's always something and someone else.
nine months ago you made a decision about something you were going to change. you remember it clearly. you remember how certain it felt in that moment. and you've thought about it since then without acting on it enough times that it's starting to feel like a fantasy you visit instead of a thing you're actually doing.
you don't need a new plan. you need to take your own word as seriously as you take everyone else's.
that shift, just that, changes more than most people realize until they actually make it.
#inspiration
think about the last time you cancelled something on yourself.
not on someone else. on yourself. the run you were going to go on that got pushed to tomorrow and then the next day. the thing you said you'd start this month, the one you've been saying since the month before that. the boundary you told yourself you'd hold the next time that situation came up, and then didn't, because in the moment it felt easier to let it slide one more time.
you probably didn't even feel it when it happened. cancelling on yourself doesn't come with the guilt that cancelling on other people does. nobody texted you to ask where you were. nobody was waiting. so it just dissolved quietly and the day moved on and you told yourself you'd make up for it later.
but later keeps having the same problem later always has.
the strange thing is you're actually excellent at keeping commitments. you show up for other people reliably, the kind of reliable they've come to count on without saying thank you for it anymore. you follow through on things you told someone else you'd do even when you don't feel like it, because letting them down carries a weight that letting yourself down somehow doesn't.
you've trained yourself to take everyone else's time and expectations seriously. you never applied the same standard to your own.
so the promises you made to yourself, the ones about how you were going to treat your own time, your own energy, your own goals, those became the first things to move when something else needed the space. negotiable. postponeable. something you'd get to once everything and everyone else was handled.
and there's always something and someone else.
nine months ago you made a decision about something you were going to change. you remember it clearly. you remember how certain it felt in that moment. and you've thought about it since then without acting on it enough times that it's starting to feel like a fantasy you visit instead of a thing you're actually doing.
you don't need a new plan. you need to take your own word as seriously as you take everyone else's.
that shift, just that, changes more than most people realize until they actually make it.
#inspiration
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