I have become a professional spy at my own desk and it is…
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I have become a professional spy at my own desk and it is exhausting
I have officially reached peak corporate espionage levels at my current job and honestly it is starting to wreck my nerves. I am sitting here right now pretending to be deep in some legacy code but in reality I have a private browser window open and I am franticly checking my emails every five minutes. Every time my phone vibrates I nearly jump out of my skin because I am terrified it is a recruiter calling back and my boss might be standing right behind me. I have become a professional liar. Last week I told my manager I had a urgent dentist appointment but I was actually sitting in my car in the back of a grocery store parking lot doing a second round interview. It was ninety degrees out and I was wearing a blazer over a t-shirt trying not to sweat through my clothes while talking about my "passion" for project management.
The logistics of this are insane. I have started keeping a clean button-down shirt in my trunk just in case someone wants a surprise video call. I had one interview where I had to hide in the handicap stall of the office bathroom and whisper my answers because the acoustics in that place are way too good. There is nothing more humbling than trying to sound like a high value asset while someone in the stall next to you is fighting for their life after a bad lunch. I am pretty sure the IT guys are onto me too. I keep wondering if they have some kind of flag on my account for how many times I visit Glassdoor during my lunch break. I have started using my personal hotspot for everything just to be safe but the paranoia is still there.
It feels like I am living a double life and I am not even good at it. My actual work perfomance is tanking because half my brain is focused on the job hunt and the other half is focused on not getting caught. I am more productive at finding a new job than I ever was at the one that actually pays me. Yesterday my boss asked me why I have been taking so many private calls lately and I panicked and told him I was dealing with a complicated plumbing issue at home. Now he keeps asking for updates on my pipes and I have to keep the lie going. I am one more "quick sync" away from a total mental breakdown.
The worst part is the constant ghosting from the companies I am risking my current paycheck for. I will go through all this stress and sneak around like a criminal just for some HR person to never email me back. It makes the whole procces feel even more ridiculous. I am out here playing James Bond in a cubicle for a role that probably pays ten percent more and has worse benefits. I just want this to be over so I can stop acting like a fugitive every time my phone rings. I think I forgot how to actually work without looking over my shoulder every ten seconds.
#business
source
I have officially reached peak corporate espionage levels at my current job and honestly it is starting to wreck my nerves. I am sitting here right now pretending to be deep in some legacy code but in reality I have a private browser window open and I am franticly checking my emails every five minutes. Every time my phone vibrates I nearly jump out of my skin because I am terrified it is a recruiter calling back and my boss might be standing right behind me. I have become a professional liar. Last week I told my manager I had a urgent dentist appointment but I was actually sitting in my car in the back of a grocery store parking lot doing a second round interview. It was ninety degrees out and I was wearing a blazer over a t-shirt trying not to sweat through my clothes while talking about my "passion" for project management.
The logistics of this are insane. I have started keeping a clean button-down shirt in my trunk just in case someone wants a surprise video call. I had one interview where I had to hide in the handicap stall of the office bathroom and whisper my answers because the acoustics in that place are way too good. There is nothing more humbling than trying to sound like a high value asset while someone in the stall next to you is fighting for their life after a bad lunch. I am pretty sure the IT guys are onto me too. I keep wondering if they have some kind of flag on my account for how many times I visit Glassdoor during my lunch break. I have started using my personal hotspot for everything just to be safe but the paranoia is still there.
It feels like I am living a double life and I am not even good at it. My actual work perfomance is tanking because half my brain is focused on the job hunt and the other half is focused on not getting caught. I am more productive at finding a new job than I ever was at the one that actually pays me. Yesterday my boss asked me why I have been taking so many private calls lately and I panicked and told him I was dealing with a complicated plumbing issue at home. Now he keeps asking for updates on my pipes and I have to keep the lie going. I am one more "quick sync" away from a total mental breakdown.
The worst part is the constant ghosting from the companies I am risking my current paycheck for. I will go through all this stress and sneak around like a criminal just for some HR person to never email me back. It makes the whole procces feel even more ridiculous. I am out here playing James Bond in a cubicle for a role that probably pays ten percent more and has worse benefits. I just want this to be over so I can stop acting like a fugitive every time my phone rings. I think I forgot how to actually work without looking over my shoulder every ten seconds.
#business
source
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