the dumbest note i ever made in my phone somehow made me…
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the dumbest note i ever made in my phone somehow made me less boring
ok so someone on here posted a while back about keeping a "story bank" in your phone. like u write down tiny things that happen during the day so when someone asks whats new with you, you dont just stare at them like a broken computer and go "not much haha"
i read it and thought thats the most neurotic thing ive ever heard. who journals their tuesday.
then literally that same week i went to dinner with friends. someone asked me how my weekend was. i said "good, pretty chill" and the conversation moved on without me. i sat there for the next twenty minutes watching everyone else tell stories about the most mundane stuff. a weird interaction at a coffee shop. something someones kid said. a podcast episode that made them rethink something.
none of it was groundbreaking. but everyone was engaged. laughing. talking.
and i was sitting there like a sim character waiting for someone to click on me
heres the thing tho. stuff DID happen to me that week. i saw things. i had thoughts. i had a whole interaction at the grocery store that was lowkey funny. but when someone asked, my brain served me absolutely nothing. like the wifi disconnected between my memory and my mouth
so fine. i tried the stupid phone note thing
first few days were embarassing. my entries were like
* went to target
* made pasta
* watched 3 episodes of something i already forgot
groundbreaking stuff. pulitzer worthy
but then something kinda shifted. i started noticing things i normally wouldnt even register. a weird sign outside a gas station. a conversation i overheard at the gym that made me laugh. a random thought about why i always pick the same seat at resturants even when the whole place is empty
none of it was a big deal. but when someone asked me "whats been going on" the next week i had stuff to say for the first time in like months. and the conversation didnt die after two sentences which felt like a miracle honestly
the other thing that helped was writing a quick note after conversations. not word for word. more like "talked to jake about his trip, forgot to ask about the new job thing, bring that up next time." sounds psychotic i know but it made me realize i never actually paid attention before. i was always half zoned out thinking about what to say next instead of listening
still working on this. some weeks i forget to write anything down. some conversations i still buffer like a youtube video on bad wifi. but the blank brain thing happens way less now
been saving everything thats helped me with this stuff along the way. books, methods, small tricks that made conversations less painful. i keep it all organized where people can grab it if theyre dealing with the same thing on my profile.
genuine question tho. when someone asks "hows it going" do you go blank because nothing comes to mind?? or do you have stuff to say but cant figure out how to say it without sounding weird?? curious which one it is for most people cause i think theyre two completely different problems
#relationships
source
ok so someone on here posted a while back about keeping a "story bank" in your phone. like u write down tiny things that happen during the day so when someone asks whats new with you, you dont just stare at them like a broken computer and go "not much haha"
i read it and thought thats the most neurotic thing ive ever heard. who journals their tuesday.
then literally that same week i went to dinner with friends. someone asked me how my weekend was. i said "good, pretty chill" and the conversation moved on without me. i sat there for the next twenty minutes watching everyone else tell stories about the most mundane stuff. a weird interaction at a coffee shop. something someones kid said. a podcast episode that made them rethink something.
none of it was groundbreaking. but everyone was engaged. laughing. talking.
and i was sitting there like a sim character waiting for someone to click on me
heres the thing tho. stuff DID happen to me that week. i saw things. i had thoughts. i had a whole interaction at the grocery store that was lowkey funny. but when someone asked, my brain served me absolutely nothing. like the wifi disconnected between my memory and my mouth
so fine. i tried the stupid phone note thing
first few days were embarassing. my entries were like
* went to target
* made pasta
* watched 3 episodes of something i already forgot
groundbreaking stuff. pulitzer worthy
but then something kinda shifted. i started noticing things i normally wouldnt even register. a weird sign outside a gas station. a conversation i overheard at the gym that made me laugh. a random thought about why i always pick the same seat at resturants even when the whole place is empty
none of it was a big deal. but when someone asked me "whats been going on" the next week i had stuff to say for the first time in like months. and the conversation didnt die after two sentences which felt like a miracle honestly
the other thing that helped was writing a quick note after conversations. not word for word. more like "talked to jake about his trip, forgot to ask about the new job thing, bring that up next time." sounds psychotic i know but it made me realize i never actually paid attention before. i was always half zoned out thinking about what to say next instead of listening
still working on this. some weeks i forget to write anything down. some conversations i still buffer like a youtube video on bad wifi. but the blank brain thing happens way less now
been saving everything thats helped me with this stuff along the way. books, methods, small tricks that made conversations less painful. i keep it all organized where people can grab it if theyre dealing with the same thing on my profile.
genuine question tho. when someone asks "hows it going" do you go blank because nothing comes to mind?? or do you have stuff to say but cant figure out how to say it without sounding weird?? curious which one it is for most people cause i think theyre two completely different problems
#relationships
source
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