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I left Islam around a month ago and Im kind of going…

I left Islam around a month ago and Im kind of going insane

I've been getting thoughts of killing myself just to see if I'm right or not, but let's ignore these thoughts since they aren't the core issue for now.

How to find your morals without religion, and don't tell me the classic "if you are only being a good person because religion says so, then you aren't a gojd person" please, morality is a thing humans argued ever since society appeared. Religion was likely either a lie to shut down the fact that the world has no meaning. Not to mention you are shaming a person(me :)) for simply being confused, the good thing. Wuth religion is that it gives you moral compass, the same one society gives you except it feels less arbitrary. As someone culturally blended, I can't give in to the morals of the society around me because the society I come from has bullshit ideas, the societies I'm going to and went to have bullshit ideas And contradict one another, so simply following my moral intuition isn't possible because it's unstable.

So what am I left with except becoming a hypocrite who changes his skin depending on the society he is in or pure nihilism?
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