I am a saver and she is a spender...getting frustrated and…
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I am a saver and she is a spender...getting frustrated and trying to figure it out
I (32M) have been dating my girlfriend (33F) for 5 months, and things are going great. We’ve done family vacations, have a trip planned in a month, and have deep conversations about the future. We both see a long-term future together and are excited about it (being in our 30s, we're ready for marriage and a family and don't want a prolonged dating phase).
That said, we have two main differences:
1. **Cleanliness:** I am very organized and tidy around the house, whereas she tends to be messy and unorganized.
2. **Finances:** I am financially stable, intentional with spending, and a diligent saver. She isn't great with money, doesn't save much, lives at home, and does a lot of online shopping.
I’m not cheap, but I am very thoughtful about where my money goes. I pay for almost all of our dates, dinners, and drinks, which I am completely fine doing as the guy. However, I’m starting to worry about our financial futures colliding. It sometimes feels like I am covering our shared expenses and saving for our future while she is just spending freely.
I get frustrated and a little resentful at times. I don't want to control her money, but the disparity stresses me out. For those who have been in a similar situation, how do you approach these financial conversations without coming off as controlling? How do you manage the stress around it?
#relationships
source
I (32M) have been dating my girlfriend (33F) for 5 months, and things are going great. We’ve done family vacations, have a trip planned in a month, and have deep conversations about the future. We both see a long-term future together and are excited about it (being in our 30s, we're ready for marriage and a family and don't want a prolonged dating phase).
That said, we have two main differences:
1. **Cleanliness:** I am very organized and tidy around the house, whereas she tends to be messy and unorganized.
2. **Finances:** I am financially stable, intentional with spending, and a diligent saver. She isn't great with money, doesn't save much, lives at home, and does a lot of online shopping.
I’m not cheap, but I am very thoughtful about where my money goes. I pay for almost all of our dates, dinners, and drinks, which I am completely fine doing as the guy. However, I’m starting to worry about our financial futures colliding. It sometimes feels like I am covering our shared expenses and saving for our future while she is just spending freely.
I get frustrated and a little resentful at times. I don't want to control her money, but the disparity stresses me out. For those who have been in a similar situation, how do you approach these financial conversations without coming off as controlling? How do you manage the stress around it?
#relationships
source
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