Initiation deadlocks and how to overcome them Hello, I…
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Initiation deadlocks and how to overcome them
Hello,
I keep on finding myself alone. I’m not here to mope around though - I’m wondering on what actions, both internally and externally, I could take to stop this.
Take an example for instance. This one girl I was around for roughly 3 months in some program kept on making eye contact with me, day after day. I held it, I smiled, etc. But I never walked up to her, never sat next to her, never even tried to take the next step with her.
Likewise, I’ve met many others in my life who I do engage with, but it seems to never go beyond small talk. I ask about their hobbies, how there day is going, and so on, and might continue that level of chat for months before we eventually never see each other again.
I feel like I’m isolating myself due to this superficial behavior I’m displaying, which I really don’t want to do.
Some problems I’ve identified are this: whenever I think about making the “next step”, anxiety gets the better of me. Beyond this, I rationalize \*not\* going further through a chain of logic such as “you’re too busy, you don’t need to do this.”, “they’re just being friendly, they’re not interested”, “just move on, you’ll find someone later”. These all have their own merits and fallacies… but of course, sometimes it is the case where you just have to act.
I really need help with this though. I’m young now, but before I know it, I’ll be older with zero friends and zero girlfriend experience… and that, well that just sucks.
#relationships
source
Hello,
I keep on finding myself alone. I’m not here to mope around though - I’m wondering on what actions, both internally and externally, I could take to stop this.
Take an example for instance. This one girl I was around for roughly 3 months in some program kept on making eye contact with me, day after day. I held it, I smiled, etc. But I never walked up to her, never sat next to her, never even tried to take the next step with her.
Likewise, I’ve met many others in my life who I do engage with, but it seems to never go beyond small talk. I ask about their hobbies, how there day is going, and so on, and might continue that level of chat for months before we eventually never see each other again.
I feel like I’m isolating myself due to this superficial behavior I’m displaying, which I really don’t want to do.
Some problems I’ve identified are this: whenever I think about making the “next step”, anxiety gets the better of me. Beyond this, I rationalize \*not\* going further through a chain of logic such as “you’re too busy, you don’t need to do this.”, “they’re just being friendly, they’re not interested”, “just move on, you’ll find someone later”. These all have their own merits and fallacies… but of course, sometimes it is the case where you just have to act.
I really need help with this though. I’m young now, but before I know it, I’ll be older with zero friends and zero girlfriend experience… and that, well that just sucks.
#relationships
source
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