I have a large friend group, but no besties I (30F) never…
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I have a large friend group, but no besties
I (30F) never had close friends growing up or in college, was only close with my family (kind of an enmeshed isolated upbringing). Then made some friends a few years ago when I first started breaking out of the bubble, but there was a falling out with some people and others moved away and became more distant.
The last couple of years, my partner and I have made a ton of new friends in town through our shared hobby. I even had a huge birthday party for my 30th and got to invite so many people who showed up to celebrate me, it made me emotional. After years of no friends to speak of it felt great.
We currently have a group of friends that we hang out with regularly a couple times per week, and other friends as well. We all host group events at our houses and invite each other to them, even just had a 12-person friend trip over the weekend with some of them.
But I don’t have any one-on-one female friends that I hang out with individually or would consider my best friend. There’s several girls I’d love to have closer friendships with, but they all have existing other closer best friends. Plus my partner and I are super close (each other’s best friends) and spend most of our time together. Our schedule is very busy too with work, a side business we share, family gatherings, and our mutual hobby. So there’s usually only a couple days a week we have free nights and we use them to catch up and catch our breath.
In addition, I tend to be a bit shy when it comes to one on one. If someone draws me in I’m great at reciprocating but kinda nervous to make the first move and don’t really know how to make friendships deeper.
If I’m being honest, while I’m a bit wistful that I don’t have a close friend or two, I would be okay with my current life as it is full of joy and people I do love spending time with. But I am probably going to get engaged within the next year or so… and I really don’t have any close long term girlfriends that I could ask to be my bridesmaids, so that’s my root anxiety I think. It’s like… I have the girls in the mixed friend group who I love hanging out with, but no super close relationships with them. I’m really not sure how to go about deepening friendships when we are adults with super busy lives, plus they all have existing best friends etc.
I would greatly appreciate any advice or words of wisdom. ❤️
PS: I definitely know that I don’t have to have bridesmaids or an even match on both sides when I get married, this is more of a sadness that I don’t have that kind of friendship in my life.
#relationships
source
I (30F) never had close friends growing up or in college, was only close with my family (kind of an enmeshed isolated upbringing). Then made some friends a few years ago when I first started breaking out of the bubble, but there was a falling out with some people and others moved away and became more distant.
The last couple of years, my partner and I have made a ton of new friends in town through our shared hobby. I even had a huge birthday party for my 30th and got to invite so many people who showed up to celebrate me, it made me emotional. After years of no friends to speak of it felt great.
We currently have a group of friends that we hang out with regularly a couple times per week, and other friends as well. We all host group events at our houses and invite each other to them, even just had a 12-person friend trip over the weekend with some of them.
But I don’t have any one-on-one female friends that I hang out with individually or would consider my best friend. There’s several girls I’d love to have closer friendships with, but they all have existing other closer best friends. Plus my partner and I are super close (each other’s best friends) and spend most of our time together. Our schedule is very busy too with work, a side business we share, family gatherings, and our mutual hobby. So there’s usually only a couple days a week we have free nights and we use them to catch up and catch our breath.
In addition, I tend to be a bit shy when it comes to one on one. If someone draws me in I’m great at reciprocating but kinda nervous to make the first move and don’t really know how to make friendships deeper.
If I’m being honest, while I’m a bit wistful that I don’t have a close friend or two, I would be okay with my current life as it is full of joy and people I do love spending time with. But I am probably going to get engaged within the next year or so… and I really don’t have any close long term girlfriends that I could ask to be my bridesmaids, so that’s my root anxiety I think. It’s like… I have the girls in the mixed friend group who I love hanging out with, but no super close relationships with them. I’m really not sure how to go about deepening friendships when we are adults with super busy lives, plus they all have existing best friends etc.
I would greatly appreciate any advice or words of wisdom. ❤️
PS: I definitely know that I don’t have to have bridesmaids or an even match on both sides when I get married, this is more of a sadness that I don’t have that kind of friendship in my life.
#relationships
source
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