Am I the only one who thinks this is rooted in misogyny…
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Am I the only one who thinks this is rooted in misogyny and purity culture?
Why are we rewarding lesbians who have never had sex with men with a Gold star? It's absurd to me. This is completely rooted in purity culture and misogyny because there is no such thing as a Gold/Silver Gay man. Even if there is, it's not as prevalently used. The society puts so pressure on lesbian women to "try dick" and now we are shamed again (indirectly) for experimenting/taking time in our lives to figure out or sexuality? This literally feels like internalised homophobia and misogyny to me. As per the definition I'm also a "Gold Star" or whatever bullshit this is. But there is not a bigger turn off to me than when a queer woman refers to me as such. It is literally the same mentality of men who want "virgins" because they are pure or whatever.
I know some people have the logic that it's just a terminology and it's ok for it to exist as a concept. But guess what? Even the word "gold" being used is extremely purity culture coded. Like what? Am I some sort of a winner because no dick has "tainted" me? What bullshit is this? And the lesbians who think this is okay also confuse me... Like where's the inclusivity? Not everyone has the luxury to grow up in an environment where they can safely explore their sexuality or even think of being anything other than "straight"... This kind of terminology is so alienating to so many women in our community I fucking hate it. I would hate the concept of my future gf/wife being called "Bronze" simply because she dated men and has sex with them before she could safely understand her own sexuality.
In fact, a gold star lesbian should be someone who has had multiple male partners before and maybe even multiple kids with men before truly coming into terms with who they are. That's something that would make sense bcz a lesbian like that had to literally fight social norms and had to go through self discovery before coming out as a lesbian which akes so much more courage. That makes more sense to me than this privelidged purity culture bs.
Pls share your thoughts.
#adult
source
Why are we rewarding lesbians who have never had sex with men with a Gold star? It's absurd to me. This is completely rooted in purity culture and misogyny because there is no such thing as a Gold/Silver Gay man. Even if there is, it's not as prevalently used. The society puts so pressure on lesbian women to "try dick" and now we are shamed again (indirectly) for experimenting/taking time in our lives to figure out or sexuality? This literally feels like internalised homophobia and misogyny to me. As per the definition I'm also a "Gold Star" or whatever bullshit this is. But there is not a bigger turn off to me than when a queer woman refers to me as such. It is literally the same mentality of men who want "virgins" because they are pure or whatever.
I know some people have the logic that it's just a terminology and it's ok for it to exist as a concept. But guess what? Even the word "gold" being used is extremely purity culture coded. Like what? Am I some sort of a winner because no dick has "tainted" me? What bullshit is this? And the lesbians who think this is okay also confuse me... Like where's the inclusivity? Not everyone has the luxury to grow up in an environment where they can safely explore their sexuality or even think of being anything other than "straight"... This kind of terminology is so alienating to so many women in our community I fucking hate it. I would hate the concept of my future gf/wife being called "Bronze" simply because she dated men and has sex with them before she could safely understand her own sexuality.
In fact, a gold star lesbian should be someone who has had multiple male partners before and maybe even multiple kids with men before truly coming into terms with who they are. That's something that would make sense bcz a lesbian like that had to literally fight social norms and had to go through self discovery before coming out as a lesbian which akes so much more courage. That makes more sense to me than this privelidged purity culture bs.
Pls share your thoughts.
#adult
source
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