Adult daughter silencing me I was lucky to be born to…
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Adult daughter silencing me
I was lucky to be born to parents who deconverted in college-- a cradle atheist. In the Deep South, though I moved away recently. I'm in my 60's, and my middle aged daughter has converted to Catholicism! She says she hates trump, but from my perspective she has adopted every other MAGA thing except still wanting universal healthcare.
I have always been basically anarchosyndicalist. I've done a fair amount of activist work, op eds, protest medic etc. But I don't harangue my family, who are mainly democrats. I don't do atheist monologues at the dinner table lol. I'm more likely to talk about the weather or other casual topics in a social setting, unless it's a DSA hangout where everyone is talking politics or today at my bookclub, some great anti religion conversation.
I have said zero about my daughter's conversion. I'm not that kind of mother-- I'm not critical. I didn't make any faces. Exploration is normal. It might be temporary. I think in other ways, she's an amazing mother, and I tell her that often.
That's context for this bombshell she dropped yesterday, which is that I am not allowed to discuss religion (or politics) with my grandbaby, who is all of 10 months old-- ever. Or of all things, gender. If I want my daughter to have anything to do with me. Even if she \_asks\_ me a question about what I believe, I'm to side step it. Even though I never talk about it around them now, kids ask questions. Refusing to answer a question seems over the top and disrespectful of my grandchild. "Why don't you go to church, Grandma?" "Oh would you look at those flowers!"
I asked what's going to happen if they read online about me? There's stuff about me giving gender affirming care to teens-- what if she sees that, or my pro choice stuff? There's stuff where I say I'm an atheist.
She said she didn't care about that. It's just that I can't talk about it in her family bc it would be "divisive". At all, ever, not even when she's 18 and I'm 80.
I'm heartbroken that she would be this controlling. I wouldn't try to deconvert my grandchildren. But if they started thinking about reality and questioned things, I feel it would be helpful to have an accepting grandma. To not be alone in the family.
I can tell she's built up this bizarre fantasy where I secretly take this kid for HRT and abortions and IDK, atheist cruises.
I feel I have no choice but to agree to this terrible rule or I will be cut out of her family.
Has anyone here been in that situation? If so what did you do?
#religion
source
I was lucky to be born to parents who deconverted in college-- a cradle atheist. In the Deep South, though I moved away recently. I'm in my 60's, and my middle aged daughter has converted to Catholicism! She says she hates trump, but from my perspective she has adopted every other MAGA thing except still wanting universal healthcare.
I have always been basically anarchosyndicalist. I've done a fair amount of activist work, op eds, protest medic etc. But I don't harangue my family, who are mainly democrats. I don't do atheist monologues at the dinner table lol. I'm more likely to talk about the weather or other casual topics in a social setting, unless it's a DSA hangout where everyone is talking politics or today at my bookclub, some great anti religion conversation.
I have said zero about my daughter's conversion. I'm not that kind of mother-- I'm not critical. I didn't make any faces. Exploration is normal. It might be temporary. I think in other ways, she's an amazing mother, and I tell her that often.
That's context for this bombshell she dropped yesterday, which is that I am not allowed to discuss religion (or politics) with my grandbaby, who is all of 10 months old-- ever. Or of all things, gender. If I want my daughter to have anything to do with me. Even if she \_asks\_ me a question about what I believe, I'm to side step it. Even though I never talk about it around them now, kids ask questions. Refusing to answer a question seems over the top and disrespectful of my grandchild. "Why don't you go to church, Grandma?" "Oh would you look at those flowers!"
I asked what's going to happen if they read online about me? There's stuff about me giving gender affirming care to teens-- what if she sees that, or my pro choice stuff? There's stuff where I say I'm an atheist.
She said she didn't care about that. It's just that I can't talk about it in her family bc it would be "divisive". At all, ever, not even when she's 18 and I'm 80.
I'm heartbroken that she would be this controlling. I wouldn't try to deconvert my grandchildren. But if they started thinking about reality and questioned things, I feel it would be helpful to have an accepting grandma. To not be alone in the family.
I can tell she's built up this bizarre fantasy where I secretly take this kid for HRT and abortions and IDK, atheist cruises.
I feel I have no choice but to agree to this terrible rule or I will be cut out of her family.
Has anyone here been in that situation? If so what did you do?
#religion
source
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