How do I become a better friend? How do I become a more…
0 reactions
How do I become a better friend? How do I become a more motivated person in general?
Recently 18F and I’m a horribly flakey and inconsistent friend. I grew up neglected and self-isolated a lot growing up because of it. While I did have sporadic friends, for some reason I could never handle having more than 2 or 3 friends. I grew up being used to not having anybody to talk to, or having anybody expect or want me to talk to them. I spent a lot of time alone in my thoughts.
I didn’t like this back then. I wanted more friends, but couldn’t figure out how to handle it. And I especially don’t like this now, since I kind of need to lock-in on making connections and bonds. As it’ll only get harder as I get older.
I made 3 friends within the last half-year. And honestly, I’ve probably damaged them, a lot. I started responding to texts late or not showing up to things we planned. Because I was tired after work and just fell asleep. I fucking ghosted one of them for a month because I was out of state and forgot to talk to them.
Talking and responding began to feel like an obligation. I got anxious whenever I responded because I felt like I had to respond “properly” or it’d ruin the relationship. Or they’d text me when I wanted to do something else and I’d get annoyed that I had to talk at all. It kept building until the idea of having to talk was a source of massive anxiety.
And I don’t know why. I don’t know why I got so annoyed or anxious. I like my friends. They’ve been great. I don’t want to lose them. I don’t know why I can’t hold a relationship for more than a couple months.
I don’t know why my social battery is so low, when I love people. I genuinely love being around people and I love human connection.
Actually, in general I’m so lazy. My rooms a mess and my mom constantly yells at me to clean. I keep forgetting things at work (idk how or why they haven’t fired me). I barely take care of myself. I’m almost failing college because I can’t be fucked to study. I was supposed to make a doctors appointment today but I spent the entire day with terrible brain fog and was barely able to string a sentence together.
And like, it’s not even laziness from lack of consequence. I have had consequences. I just can’t make myself care.
I thought maybe it was my ADHD, but I take medication now and I still barely do more than before. Why am I so lazy? Why do I wake up with such a low energy threshold? Then I just spend the day with low background anxiety about things I should be doing.
How do I fix this? How do I be a better friend? And how do I train my social bandwidth/battery to last longer?
#inspiration
source
Recently 18F and I’m a horribly flakey and inconsistent friend. I grew up neglected and self-isolated a lot growing up because of it. While I did have sporadic friends, for some reason I could never handle having more than 2 or 3 friends. I grew up being used to not having anybody to talk to, or having anybody expect or want me to talk to them. I spent a lot of time alone in my thoughts.
I didn’t like this back then. I wanted more friends, but couldn’t figure out how to handle it. And I especially don’t like this now, since I kind of need to lock-in on making connections and bonds. As it’ll only get harder as I get older.
I made 3 friends within the last half-year. And honestly, I’ve probably damaged them, a lot. I started responding to texts late or not showing up to things we planned. Because I was tired after work and just fell asleep. I fucking ghosted one of them for a month because I was out of state and forgot to talk to them.
Talking and responding began to feel like an obligation. I got anxious whenever I responded because I felt like I had to respond “properly” or it’d ruin the relationship. Or they’d text me when I wanted to do something else and I’d get annoyed that I had to talk at all. It kept building until the idea of having to talk was a source of massive anxiety.
And I don’t know why. I don’t know why I got so annoyed or anxious. I like my friends. They’ve been great. I don’t want to lose them. I don’t know why I can’t hold a relationship for more than a couple months.
I don’t know why my social battery is so low, when I love people. I genuinely love being around people and I love human connection.
Actually, in general I’m so lazy. My rooms a mess and my mom constantly yells at me to clean. I keep forgetting things at work (idk how or why they haven’t fired me). I barely take care of myself. I’m almost failing college because I can’t be fucked to study. I was supposed to make a doctors appointment today but I spent the entire day with terrible brain fog and was barely able to string a sentence together.
And like, it’s not even laziness from lack of consequence. I have had consequences. I just can’t make myself care.
I thought maybe it was my ADHD, but I take medication now and I still barely do more than before. Why am I so lazy? Why do I wake up with such a low energy threshold? Then I just spend the day with low background anxiety about things I should be doing.
How do I fix this? How do I be a better friend? And how do I train my social bandwidth/battery to last longer?
#inspiration
source
| 4,000 mlx | |
| 7 | |
| 0 |