Being a burden on people is good for you and for them, and…
0 reactions
Being a burden on people is good for you and for them, and our obsession with not being one is why everyone is lonely
We've convinced ourselves that the ideal adult needs nobody. Pay for it, schedule it, handle it yourself, never ask twice. It feels like maturity, but I think it's slowly killing our relationships, because what actually ties people together was never how much they enjoy each other's company. It was how much they owe each other. Obligation is annoying, and it's also the glue. And here's the part most people have backwards: we don't grow attached to the people who help us, we grow attached to the people we help. You care about what you've invested in, the same way you care more about a plant you've kept alive for five years than one you just bought. So every time you refuse help because you "don't want to be a burden," you aren't protecting the other person. You're taking away their chance to get invested in you, and then you're surprised when the friendship stays shallow. A life where nobody owes you anything and you owe nobody anything sounds like freedom, but if you describe it out loud it's just a very clean way of being alone.
#conversation
We've convinced ourselves that the ideal adult needs nobody. Pay for it, schedule it, handle it yourself, never ask twice. It feels like maturity, but I think it's slowly killing our relationships, because what actually ties people together was never how much they enjoy each other's company. It was how much they owe each other. Obligation is annoying, and it's also the glue. And here's the part most people have backwards: we don't grow attached to the people who help us, we grow attached to the people we help. You care about what you've invested in, the same way you care more about a plant you've kept alive for five years than one you just bought. So every time you refuse help because you "don't want to be a burden," you aren't protecting the other person. You're taking away their chance to get invested in you, and then you're surprised when the friendship stays shallow. A life where nobody owes you anything and you owe nobody anything sounds like freedom, but if you describe it out loud it's just a very clean way of being alone.
#conversation
| 2,000 mlx | |
| 4 | |
| 0 |