I can’t do anything without external motivation More and…
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I can’t do anything without external motivation
More and more I find myself unable to do things without external motivation. Either money, praise or at the very least being better at something than those in my vicinity.
I don’t care about whether the thing I make is good, I care if other people like I or at least if I get paid for it. I don’t care if my actions bring one person (including myself) joy, I care if they do so for a thousand. I don’t care if they impact my community, I care if they impact the world. I don’t want to be good. I want to be better than you.
This worked when I was a kid but no longer. People no longer think I am smart but start to treat me as a child. People are asking me if I understand things, or info dumping at me, or taking me for granted. That saps my motivation more and more. If this is what those close to me are like then why should I help them?
How do I break out of this?
#inspiration
source
More and more I find myself unable to do things without external motivation. Either money, praise or at the very least being better at something than those in my vicinity.
I don’t care about whether the thing I make is good, I care if other people like I or at least if I get paid for it. I don’t care if my actions bring one person (including myself) joy, I care if they do so for a thousand. I don’t care if they impact my community, I care if they impact the world. I don’t want to be good. I want to be better than you.
This worked when I was a kid but no longer. People no longer think I am smart but start to treat me as a child. People are asking me if I understand things, or info dumping at me, or taking me for granted. That saps my motivation more and more. If this is what those close to me are like then why should I help them?
How do I break out of this?
#inspiration
source
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