A close friend told me I should just give up on trying to…
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A close friend told me I should just give up on trying to date.
A bit of background and context.
I'm 36M and never had a gf, had a date or even been romantic with someone. I've written about my difficulties in recent threads.
Earlier today, I spoke to a close friend of mine about my frustrations in continuously failing even when I take breaks to recharge - a case of rinse and repeat.
His response was I should just give up altogether because if I've tried all these things - socialising, improving my wardrobe, single events, speed dating, cold approach, hobby groups and meet up groups for over a decade and no women is interested in a date or giving a phone number then "it's a sign that dating might not ever be for you,"
He wanted to be honest because he felt sad I was the odd one out (all my friends have relationships bar me) and he wanted me to deviate from focusing on an area where I have failed 100% of the time. He suggested just focusing on what I do well in terms of my hobbies and he conceded it is a sticky plaster on a wound because waiting to see if "something will happen when I least expect it" is a meaningless platitude with misplaced hope that does more harm than good.
I was down about the advice because it's never nice being told in so many words I will never find love - but as I mull over it I think permanently stepping away from something I never even was close to having might be the only way. After all, just because connection is a human need, doesn't mean everyone will experience it. I just feel like the truth hurts.
#relationships
source
A bit of background and context.
I'm 36M and never had a gf, had a date or even been romantic with someone. I've written about my difficulties in recent threads.
Earlier today, I spoke to a close friend of mine about my frustrations in continuously failing even when I take breaks to recharge - a case of rinse and repeat.
His response was I should just give up altogether because if I've tried all these things - socialising, improving my wardrobe, single events, speed dating, cold approach, hobby groups and meet up groups for over a decade and no women is interested in a date or giving a phone number then "it's a sign that dating might not ever be for you,"
He wanted to be honest because he felt sad I was the odd one out (all my friends have relationships bar me) and he wanted me to deviate from focusing on an area where I have failed 100% of the time. He suggested just focusing on what I do well in terms of my hobbies and he conceded it is a sticky plaster on a wound because waiting to see if "something will happen when I least expect it" is a meaningless platitude with misplaced hope that does more harm than good.
I was down about the advice because it's never nice being told in so many words I will never find love - but as I mull over it I think permanently stepping away from something I never even was close to having might be the only way. After all, just because connection is a human need, doesn't mean everyone will experience it. I just feel like the truth hurts.
#relationships
source
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