i made a list of every habit that killed my college…
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i made a list of every habit that killed my college friendships and i need help breaking them
i've been reflecting on why my social life in college basically flatlined and i wrote down every pattern i noticed. looking at it all together is kind of brutal:
- i never check where my friends are, i just assume they're busy
- if i'm not explicitly invited i assume i'm not wanted and stay home
- i let every "we should hang" die in the chat because i convince myself words mean nothing
- i refuse to be the one to suggest meetups because it feels embarrassing
- i let every friendship from freshman year slowly drift and told myself it was natural
- i miss every spontaneous plan because nobody thought to tell me (because i never put myself out there)
- when i'm near someone i haven't seen in months i just do nothing about it
- i keep every friendship at the "seen" stage because vulnerability feels unsafe
- i'm about to graduate without knowing which of my friends actually lived 10 minutes away
i know these are all self-sabotage patterns but knowing that doesn't make them easier to break. has anyone actually managed to reverse this kind of thing? especially this late in college? what actually worked for you
#relationships
source
i've been reflecting on why my social life in college basically flatlined and i wrote down every pattern i noticed. looking at it all together is kind of brutal:
- i never check where my friends are, i just assume they're busy
- if i'm not explicitly invited i assume i'm not wanted and stay home
- i let every "we should hang" die in the chat because i convince myself words mean nothing
- i refuse to be the one to suggest meetups because it feels embarrassing
- i let every friendship from freshman year slowly drift and told myself it was natural
- i miss every spontaneous plan because nobody thought to tell me (because i never put myself out there)
- when i'm near someone i haven't seen in months i just do nothing about it
- i keep every friendship at the "seen" stage because vulnerability feels unsafe
- i'm about to graduate without knowing which of my friends actually lived 10 minutes away
i know these are all self-sabotage patterns but knowing that doesn't make them easier to break. has anyone actually managed to reverse this kind of thing? especially this late in college? what actually worked for you
#relationships
source
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