I make friends very easily, but I can never maintain them…
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I make friends very easily, but I can never maintain them
i don’t really know how to explain this without it sounding contradictory, but I’m actually very good with people. I can meet someone and within minutes we’re getting along, exchanging numbers, making plans, all of that. I’m a funny person, a good listener, i ask people questions; and i’m genuinely invested and interested in what people have to say. This has always been easy for me. Over the past year alone, I’ve probably met like 40–50 people I could’ve realistically became friends with.
But the problem is I never follow through.
I don’t text back. I don’t make plans. Even when people reach out first and clearly want to hang out, I just… don’t respond. It’s not because I don’t like them either. A lot of these people are genuinely cool and I enjoyed talking to them, I just have zero motivation to continue the connection after that initial interaction.
What’s confusing is I wouldn’t consider myself depressed at all. I’m actually very content with my life right now. I like talking to people, and my job involves interacting with people all day, which I enjoy. But outside of that, my social battery feels extremely low. The idea of hanging out for hours feel draining, even if I like the person.
The only exception is my best friend. We’re very close, but even then we don’t text much or hang out constantly. There’s just no pressure between us. We can go a while without talking and it doesn’t change anything. Being around her feels effortless, and I never get that same drained feeling i get with others. Even with family members i struggle keeping in contact with them or responding to their attempts to contact me.
But with everyone else, even people I care about, it feels like there’s some kind of invisible effort barrier I can’t get past. It’s gotten to the point where even close friends I’ve known since childhood have reached out to hang out, and I still didn’t respond. I feel bad about it because I do care about them, but I just don’t have the energy or desire to engage the way they probably expect.
I guess I’m trying to figure out what this even is. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced being very socially capable but having no drive to maintain friendships? And if so, how do you handle it without unintentionally pushing people away?
#relationships
source
i don’t really know how to explain this without it sounding contradictory, but I’m actually very good with people. I can meet someone and within minutes we’re getting along, exchanging numbers, making plans, all of that. I’m a funny person, a good listener, i ask people questions; and i’m genuinely invested and interested in what people have to say. This has always been easy for me. Over the past year alone, I’ve probably met like 40–50 people I could’ve realistically became friends with.
But the problem is I never follow through.
I don’t text back. I don’t make plans. Even when people reach out first and clearly want to hang out, I just… don’t respond. It’s not because I don’t like them either. A lot of these people are genuinely cool and I enjoyed talking to them, I just have zero motivation to continue the connection after that initial interaction.
What’s confusing is I wouldn’t consider myself depressed at all. I’m actually very content with my life right now. I like talking to people, and my job involves interacting with people all day, which I enjoy. But outside of that, my social battery feels extremely low. The idea of hanging out for hours feel draining, even if I like the person.
The only exception is my best friend. We’re very close, but even then we don’t text much or hang out constantly. There’s just no pressure between us. We can go a while without talking and it doesn’t change anything. Being around her feels effortless, and I never get that same drained feeling i get with others. Even with family members i struggle keeping in contact with them or responding to their attempts to contact me.
But with everyone else, even people I care about, it feels like there’s some kind of invisible effort barrier I can’t get past. It’s gotten to the point where even close friends I’ve known since childhood have reached out to hang out, and I still didn’t respond. I feel bad about it because I do care about them, but I just don’t have the energy or desire to engage the way they probably expect.
I guess I’m trying to figure out what this even is. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced being very socially capable but having no drive to maintain friendships? And if so, how do you handle it without unintentionally pushing people away?
#relationships
source
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