How do you sustain new friendships? I moved to my…
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How do you sustain new friendships?
I moved to my partner’s hometown about a year ago and I’ve been trying to make friends of my own. I’ve been to Timeleft dinners, language classes, yoga classes, connected with people in my industry and have said yes to everything I’m invited to.
I’ve been challenging because I’m a freelancer who works from home all day long, so I don’t have a lot of opportunities to meet people organically or be in environments where connections develop naturally over time. This means I really need to go out of my way to meet people and maintain new relationships.
This hasn’t come naturally to me, but I’ve made progress. I’m quite introverted and have never been the one to make the first move, but I’ve realised I need to change that if I want to connect with others in a new place.
I have found that I’m ok sending the first text and organising the first coffee/drink, but…then what? I struggle to sustain new connections because I feel like I can’t keep asking people to grab coffee. It feels awkward and forced.
I’ve made one solid friend who invites me to events regularly etc. But there are 3 other people who I’ve caught up with a couple of times who always seem up for hanging out but who don’t really initiate. I know I need to make an effort with people but I don’t like chasing. Their lack of initiating makes me feel like they’re not that interested, which makes me indecisive when I think about texting them for a catch up. Constantly going out of my way to organise a catchup gets a bit exhausting.
I know hobbies and classes are the way to go, because they offer a low effort space to get to know people organically. But I’m not into team sports or pottery or anything. I did make one friend at the language class I was doing but they live in another city and aren’t on social media.
I’d love some advice on how to sustain new friendships/acquaintances? How do you keep things going after the first one-on-one catch up? And how much should I initiate? Is it ok to be the one to initiate all the time or should I drop it after a certain point?
#relationships
source
I moved to my partner’s hometown about a year ago and I’ve been trying to make friends of my own. I’ve been to Timeleft dinners, language classes, yoga classes, connected with people in my industry and have said yes to everything I’m invited to.
I’ve been challenging because I’m a freelancer who works from home all day long, so I don’t have a lot of opportunities to meet people organically or be in environments where connections develop naturally over time. This means I really need to go out of my way to meet people and maintain new relationships.
This hasn’t come naturally to me, but I’ve made progress. I’m quite introverted and have never been the one to make the first move, but I’ve realised I need to change that if I want to connect with others in a new place.
I have found that I’m ok sending the first text and organising the first coffee/drink, but…then what? I struggle to sustain new connections because I feel like I can’t keep asking people to grab coffee. It feels awkward and forced.
I’ve made one solid friend who invites me to events regularly etc. But there are 3 other people who I’ve caught up with a couple of times who always seem up for hanging out but who don’t really initiate. I know I need to make an effort with people but I don’t like chasing. Their lack of initiating makes me feel like they’re not that interested, which makes me indecisive when I think about texting them for a catch up. Constantly going out of my way to organise a catchup gets a bit exhausting.
I know hobbies and classes are the way to go, because they offer a low effort space to get to know people organically. But I’m not into team sports or pottery or anything. I did make one friend at the language class I was doing but they live in another city and aren’t on social media.
I’d love some advice on how to sustain new friendships/acquaintances? How do you keep things going after the first one-on-one catch up? And how much should I initiate? Is it ok to be the one to initiate all the time or should I drop it after a certain point?
#relationships
source
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