Shutting down negative comments about my son This past…
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Shutting down negative comments about my son
This past weekend, my brother in law and his wife visited with their \\\~6 week old. This is their first baby. We are one and done with a son. He’s an amazing, smart, and super kind kid, and despite being an only child, never displays behavior that to me screams “I expect everyone to pay attention to me.” We’ve gotten such positive feedback from numerous staff at his school telling us how polite and well behaved he is.
He is very high energy and when we’re home just the 3 of us he’s often making lots of sound effects, running and jumping around, being super goofy, etc. I specify “home just the 3 of is” because this energy is not unique to any specific social situation so it’s not as if he behaves this way only in groups of people trying to get eyes on him.
During our visit with the in laws, we all gushed over the baby, my son included. He loved getting to hold her and pet her head 😂 some time in to the visit I think he got a little restless (considering he’s only 5) and started being super goofy and a little wild (which to us is nothing unusual).
But then there started to be some comments from the family, including “that’s such only child behavior” - it was said in jest, not in an insulting tone at all, but it did bug me a little. I’m non confrontational so I kinda just laughed, which I regret. My in laws with their slumbering, fresh baby said “yeah, I’m glad we have a girl”, again more in jest. There was another comment from my son’s uncle who said to my in laws “he’s a lot. When we babysit it’s exhausting.” Or at least something to that effect, again with a silly tone.
My husband and I do say this about him sometimes, especially when it’s been a hard day or when he’s going through a particularly high energy period, but hearing someone else make comments like that bugs me. And it especially bugs me coming from the in-laws who just became parents like 5 minutes ago as if they are now seasoned parents and that their baby who literally just sleeps, eats, and poops is somehow an angel compared to our wild child. It especially bothers me because this is all being said right in front of him.
Our son has been a pretty easy kid as far as the word “easy” goes when it comes to parenting 😂 he mostly fussed when he needed something (of course there were times here and there where that wasn’t true lol), started sleeping through the night pretty early, never struggled with the crib to bed transition, never threw crazy tantrums or had massive meltdowns like I was expecting, and yet people are commenting on his behavior in a way that sounds like a joke in tone but an insult in words.
I get that there are some behaviors that boys may display more than girls and vice versa, but I hate when people say something like “oh man, glad we have a girl.” Especially people whose only frame of reference is their “blob” of a newborn.
How should I shut down comments like these without it coming across as rude or as if I’m being too sensitive? These in laws who are new parents barely even see him, and honestly don’t interact with him all that much so their comment really irritated me because they don’t even know anything about our kid.
Maybe I’m overthinking it, but it’s one thing to say “oh he’s high energy huh?” But it’s another think to basically say “omg I’m so grateful we don’t have a boy like you guys”. At least that’s the way I to interpret “so glad we have a girl.”
Do any of you get comments like this? What do you do to kindly shut it down?
#relationships
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This past weekend, my brother in law and his wife visited with their \\\~6 week old. This is their first baby. We are one and done with a son. He’s an amazing, smart, and super kind kid, and despite being an only child, never displays behavior that to me screams “I expect everyone to pay attention to me.” We’ve gotten such positive feedback from numerous staff at his school telling us how polite and well behaved he is.
He is very high energy and when we’re home just the 3 of us he’s often making lots of sound effects, running and jumping around, being super goofy, etc. I specify “home just the 3 of is” because this energy is not unique to any specific social situation so it’s not as if he behaves this way only in groups of people trying to get eyes on him.
During our visit with the in laws, we all gushed over the baby, my son included. He loved getting to hold her and pet her head 😂 some time in to the visit I think he got a little restless (considering he’s only 5) and started being super goofy and a little wild (which to us is nothing unusual).
But then there started to be some comments from the family, including “that’s such only child behavior” - it was said in jest, not in an insulting tone at all, but it did bug me a little. I’m non confrontational so I kinda just laughed, which I regret. My in laws with their slumbering, fresh baby said “yeah, I’m glad we have a girl”, again more in jest. There was another comment from my son’s uncle who said to my in laws “he’s a lot. When we babysit it’s exhausting.” Or at least something to that effect, again with a silly tone.
My husband and I do say this about him sometimes, especially when it’s been a hard day or when he’s going through a particularly high energy period, but hearing someone else make comments like that bugs me. And it especially bugs me coming from the in-laws who just became parents like 5 minutes ago as if they are now seasoned parents and that their baby who literally just sleeps, eats, and poops is somehow an angel compared to our wild child. It especially bothers me because this is all being said right in front of him.
Our son has been a pretty easy kid as far as the word “easy” goes when it comes to parenting 😂 he mostly fussed when he needed something (of course there were times here and there where that wasn’t true lol), started sleeping through the night pretty early, never struggled with the crib to bed transition, never threw crazy tantrums or had massive meltdowns like I was expecting, and yet people are commenting on his behavior in a way that sounds like a joke in tone but an insult in words.
I get that there are some behaviors that boys may display more than girls and vice versa, but I hate when people say something like “oh man, glad we have a girl.” Especially people whose only frame of reference is their “blob” of a newborn.
How should I shut down comments like these without it coming across as rude or as if I’m being too sensitive? These in laws who are new parents barely even see him, and honestly don’t interact with him all that much so their comment really irritated me because they don’t even know anything about our kid.
Maybe I’m overthinking it, but it’s one thing to say “oh he’s high energy huh?” But it’s another think to basically say “omg I’m so grateful we don’t have a boy like you guys”. At least that’s the way I to interpret “so glad we have a girl.”
Do any of you get comments like this? What do you do to kindly shut it down?
#relationships
source
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