age gap summer! 14 & 1 - looking for ideas I have two…
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age gap summer! 14 & 1 - looking for ideas
I have two kids, a 14 year old girl & 1 year old boy.
I raised my daughter solo until she was 10. We did everything together and I loved every second of it. Around 11 she started being more independent, focused on friends, and generally wanting more separation from mom. Totally normal.
I married and had my son when she was 13. She has very little interest in her brother. I occasionally ask her to read him a book while I run to the bathroom or something, but she will never be required to babysit. I try not to force anything. But I do really wish she liked playing with him.
My son is kind of intense. He’s good natured and very sweet but he requires constant attention. He’s hyper-aware (so was she) and kind of reckless. He absolutely adores her.
I try to stay connected with her as much as possible. We occasionally talk about what’s going on with her friends and relationships and her feelings and interests and hobbies. I still ”tuck her in” to bed every night lol.
This age gap has been rough. Parenting a teenage girl and taking care of a very wild boy at the same time is exhausting. I’m grateful I get to be home (not working) and be more present with my daughter while she’s going through this part of her life.
I guess I’m just really struggling with how to make this work all summer while she’s not in school. She wants nothing to do with me and the baby most days. Some days that’s for the best, like I don’t think I could handle it if she wanted to hang out all the time. But the only thing she wants to do *with* us is go to Starbucks or go to the mall, which I just can’t afford to do more than once a week.
I decided to designate one day a week to the three of us hanging out. Same day every week so it’s predictable and maybe she’ll start to enjoy it? She didn’t reject the idea so that’s hopeful.
I’m thinking I‘ll pair a baby friendly activity with a food/drink that I know she likes : zoo & chipotle or walk around the park & starbucks.
I know I can’t force a bond but there’s gotta be a way to make this summer feel a little more enjoyable for everyone.
I’m open to ideas and suggestions. I’d love to hear other people’s experiences with similar age gaps.
editing to add: we also have a family movie night once a month - husband, daughter, myself. and yes i do spend time alone with her every day during baby’s nap, although it’s not always the most intentional time, it still counts. we also run errands and shop together while husband stays with baby at least once a week. this morning, for example, i got ready in her bedroom while husband watched baby downstairs. she tried to do my hair then i did my make up and asked her for tips while she picked out her outfit. (I don’t do hair or make up very much but she is very into those things so thats how i chose to connect with her) then we ran to the pharmacy and target together. pretty typical weekend stuff for us.
#relationships
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I have two kids, a 14 year old girl & 1 year old boy.
I raised my daughter solo until she was 10. We did everything together and I loved every second of it. Around 11 she started being more independent, focused on friends, and generally wanting more separation from mom. Totally normal.
I married and had my son when she was 13. She has very little interest in her brother. I occasionally ask her to read him a book while I run to the bathroom or something, but she will never be required to babysit. I try not to force anything. But I do really wish she liked playing with him.
My son is kind of intense. He’s good natured and very sweet but he requires constant attention. He’s hyper-aware (so was she) and kind of reckless. He absolutely adores her.
I try to stay connected with her as much as possible. We occasionally talk about what’s going on with her friends and relationships and her feelings and interests and hobbies. I still ”tuck her in” to bed every night lol.
This age gap has been rough. Parenting a teenage girl and taking care of a very wild boy at the same time is exhausting. I’m grateful I get to be home (not working) and be more present with my daughter while she’s going through this part of her life.
I guess I’m just really struggling with how to make this work all summer while she’s not in school. She wants nothing to do with me and the baby most days. Some days that’s for the best, like I don’t think I could handle it if she wanted to hang out all the time. But the only thing she wants to do *with* us is go to Starbucks or go to the mall, which I just can’t afford to do more than once a week.
I decided to designate one day a week to the three of us hanging out. Same day every week so it’s predictable and maybe she’ll start to enjoy it? She didn’t reject the idea so that’s hopeful.
I’m thinking I‘ll pair a baby friendly activity with a food/drink that I know she likes : zoo & chipotle or walk around the park & starbucks.
I know I can’t force a bond but there’s gotta be a way to make this summer feel a little more enjoyable for everyone.
I’m open to ideas and suggestions. I’d love to hear other people’s experiences with similar age gaps.
editing to add: we also have a family movie night once a month - husband, daughter, myself. and yes i do spend time alone with her every day during baby’s nap, although it’s not always the most intentional time, it still counts. we also run errands and shop together while husband stays with baby at least once a week. this morning, for example, i got ready in her bedroom while husband watched baby downstairs. she tried to do my hair then i did my make up and asked her for tips while she picked out her outfit. (I don’t do hair or make up very much but she is very into those things so thats how i chose to connect with her) then we ran to the pharmacy and target together. pretty typical weekend stuff for us.
#relationships
source
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