What does "Keep in touch" usually mean for a new friend…
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What does "Keep in touch" usually mean for a new friend who lives abroad?
I recently made a new friend while visiting my home country, a place that I typically visit 1-2 times a year. I would like to keep in touch with her between trips, but I'm unsure how this looks in practise when it's a new friend. We've had about 7 hours of 1-on-1 time in total (plus some group stuff through mutual friends), but it's been quite deep chats and I feel that we connect really effortlessly and have very similar personalities. She has explicitly urged me twice to stay in touch, but I'm unsure what she means by that or how she expects that to look (also, some people say this but don't really mean it?) Aside from originally reaching out to me, she isn't a big initiator - has a more subtle approach, so I've mostly been the organizer of meet-ups after she hints about wanting to hang out. I don't love that, but it's whatever, and she does respond enthusiastically.
I've been back in my country of residence for a few weeks and thinking about messaging her to check in. So far, we've only had instagram contact (mostly her liking my stories, adding the occasional comment), but she doesn't post at all, so it's kinda one-sided by default. I'm anxious that messaging might quickly fizzle out or that I'll feel like I'm bothering her if I'm always the one initiating a message. For added context, we are different ages (me a millennial, she a boomer). She might appreciate being sent memes or reels but also might not. I'm comfortable randomly spamming my existing friends with media that made me think of them or commenting on some political development (we are politically aligned, thank God - she's not one of *those* Boomers), but I don't want to come across as 'too much' with someone I'm only just getting to know.
I realise I'm overthinking this a lot, but that's how my brain works and I also have a tendency to attach to people too quickly, though I'm very good at hiding this. I once got badly hurt in a similar but more intense situation (with another Boomer, lol) who I thought I'd been really close to but didn't want to give me the time of day after I'd left. Her behaviour turned out to be textbook Avoidant, but I still took it really hard and personally. Does anyone have any advice or experience of slow-building a friendship connection that started off in person before quickly switching to long distance?
#relationships
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I recently made a new friend while visiting my home country, a place that I typically visit 1-2 times a year. I would like to keep in touch with her between trips, but I'm unsure how this looks in practise when it's a new friend. We've had about 7 hours of 1-on-1 time in total (plus some group stuff through mutual friends), but it's been quite deep chats and I feel that we connect really effortlessly and have very similar personalities. She has explicitly urged me twice to stay in touch, but I'm unsure what she means by that or how she expects that to look (also, some people say this but don't really mean it?) Aside from originally reaching out to me, she isn't a big initiator - has a more subtle approach, so I've mostly been the organizer of meet-ups after she hints about wanting to hang out. I don't love that, but it's whatever, and she does respond enthusiastically.
I've been back in my country of residence for a few weeks and thinking about messaging her to check in. So far, we've only had instagram contact (mostly her liking my stories, adding the occasional comment), but she doesn't post at all, so it's kinda one-sided by default. I'm anxious that messaging might quickly fizzle out or that I'll feel like I'm bothering her if I'm always the one initiating a message. For added context, we are different ages (me a millennial, she a boomer). She might appreciate being sent memes or reels but also might not. I'm comfortable randomly spamming my existing friends with media that made me think of them or commenting on some political development (we are politically aligned, thank God - she's not one of *those* Boomers), but I don't want to come across as 'too much' with someone I'm only just getting to know.
I realise I'm overthinking this a lot, but that's how my brain works and I also have a tendency to attach to people too quickly, though I'm very good at hiding this. I once got badly hurt in a similar but more intense situation (with another Boomer, lol) who I thought I'd been really close to but didn't want to give me the time of day after I'd left. Her behaviour turned out to be textbook Avoidant, but I still took it really hard and personally. Does anyone have any advice or experience of slow-building a friendship connection that started off in person before quickly switching to long distance?
#relationships
source
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