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Last year I read 17 books on social skills. Here are my notes.
-if you want to build real influence, find what others want, then give it to them.
-a persons name is the sweetest sound in any language.
-use Power thank yous: what they did, what effort it took, and what effect it had on you
-mirror other people’s body language to feel more connected
-use empathetic statements: state your observations, and how you suspect it might feel. (Hmm you look overwhelmed… that must be frustrating.)
-give genuine compliments.
-the best way to be a good conversationalist is to be a good listener.
-the best way to be a good listener is to listen without waiting to respond.
-charisma is a combination of prescence, warmth, and power.
-presence can be increased by mindfulness.
-warmth can be increased by desiring to help others (imagine they’re going to die tomorrow)
-power can be increased by learning high status body language (think Obama, Morgan freeman, Tony Stark)
-if people bore you, it’s your failure to make them interesting. Everyone has a story with something intriguing, dig until you find it.
-small talk is used to find similarities
-deep talk comes from those shared similarities
-talk about what others are into
-you don’t have to talk to everyone, and not everyone will like you, that’s okay.
-you’re allowed to make mistakes, literally no one will care but you.
-if you want to connect with others, you will only get as deep as you’re willing to be vulnerable
-socializing is a skill, you aren’t good or bad at it, you just haven’t practiced it long enough.
-the feet are the most honest part of the body.
-body language reading allows you to peer into people’s minds.
Tell me, what I should make my next post on?
-if you want to build real influence, find what others want, then give it to them.
-a persons name is the sweetest sound in any language.
-use Power thank yous: what they did, what effort it took, and what effect it had on you
-mirror other people’s body language to feel more connected
-use empathetic statements: state your observations, and how you suspect it might feel. (Hmm you look overwhelmed… that must be frustrating.)
-give genuine compliments.
-the best way to be a good conversationalist is to be a good listener.
-the best way to be a good listener is to listen without waiting to respond.
-charisma is a combination of prescence, warmth, and power.
-presence can be increased by mindfulness.
-warmth can be increased by desiring to help others (imagine they’re going to die tomorrow)
-power can be increased by learning high status body language (think Obama, Morgan freeman, Tony Stark)
-if people bore you, it’s your failure to make them interesting. Everyone has a story with something intriguing, dig until you find it.
-small talk is used to find similarities
-deep talk comes from those shared similarities
-talk about what others are into
-you don’t have to talk to everyone, and not everyone will like you, that’s okay.
-you’re allowed to make mistakes, literally no one will care but you.
-if you want to connect with others, you will only get as deep as you’re willing to be vulnerable
-socializing is a skill, you aren’t good or bad at it, you just haven’t practiced it long enough.
-the feet are the most honest part of the body.
-body language reading allows you to peer into people’s minds.
Tell me, what I should make my next post on?
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