My pain is self-chosen At least, so the prophet says I could either burn Or cut off my pride and buy some time A head full of lies is the weight, tied to my waist? The river of deceit...! #thinkforyourself #depression #madseason
Good #Relationships are built on respect, trust, honesty, sincerity . then come #love , affection , protection .... as results. i think those are the pillars , if any of those became unstable, the whole relationship become insecure. and of course we will lose one or more of those results gradually (if not fixed) till the total collapse... impact is subjective and affects all ramifications of that relationship ...
those pillars creates choice decision , if a person fail to test and see real value (the other person) will automatically jump into risky relationship that won't last. so choice is subjective too and mutual. no one should accept to stick with someone who rejects him/her. rejection meets rejection, simple. of course there's some exceptions , made by choice or necessity which opens the door on benefits and #psychological aspects .. present especially between spouses / family.
in the case of our friend here, i wouldn't expect changes without knowing the causes and work on them. if a woman lose interest in her man , then the problem is around him , won't look far away . won't drop her and assume directly to pull her back easily. bcze it's not a quick decision she made..
think " maybe i am the reason, maybe pressure at home, maybe she compared herself with others and wanted to get "free" , maybe she is a victim of temptation"
always the kids are the victims of such failure. i would do anything to protect them even from myself , so if there's sacrifices, then let it be. if i fail to contain the issue and she decide to keep doing what she do, i'll push her away for good. if the kids need a mother, i'll get a wife, if i can take care of them alone, then will have time to rearrange everything hoping to surpass the #depression in short time without getting them into it.
soooo ... i would suggest to try to find out where did it fail , then find out why she did it . that is priceles lesson , he should not miss it.
not easy to be stabbed after years by who you considered soul-mate and your half... and have kids responsibility . and even the places would revive that wound, memories will make it harder to heal. would be wise to travel or move to another place , even for short time. family visits will help a lot. let your kids feel they belong to family. will give you time to think properly. dont close your door, don't run to shots, drugs and such .. you will be your wife and fall in #addiction then. talk, walk, do some activities, meet people...
maybe, who knows, you bump into a good magical woman , not a witch in disguise. kids are priority here, but won't grow up in safe way if you are not balanced. do not run behind women, let it come slowly. slower is sweeter .
whatever you decide to do... whenever their mother want to see them, or they want their mom .. make it happen in good atmosphere even for few minutes.
i have a friend (woman) divorced with 4 kids and recently my friend (man) with a little daughter went into # #divorce process.. different stories, different conditions but one thing is sure .. divorce is destructive.
---- if i missed something, will add it later when i feel better.