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Many people ask me: How do you do it?
So here's just a few of #MyBeautySecrets
1. Wake up from a coma while shaking in anger and start to vomit uncontrollably.
2. Train facial muscles by looking in the mirror repeating the mantra 'The fuck are you looking at you ugly smock?' Press my face into the mirror to leave a fat film of slime on to it untill there is no longer a reflection.
3. Bump my little toe under the door and scream in a 7-Octave vocal range. this opens up the Pineal Gland.
4. Shout slurs out the window untill someone accepts my battlecry, proceed to get into a fist-fight to really get that glow-up into my face.
5. Bite my fingernails untill they get that natural red gloss from biting off too much skin.
6. Scrape the dandruff out of my hair and use that as pulverized toothpaste
7. Eat the breadcrumps and 'what's that?' from under the couch cushions (Foodpoison helps me concentrate so i only eat perished foods)
8. Take the 'cum-jar' out of the freezer and mix myself a good ol' Benedict Cumberslop
9. Rip out each of my pubic hairs one by one while doing simple math equations
10. Fall to my knees and ask the lord for forgiveness (i rotate gods and religions to always stay on their radar)
And that's just my morning routine , feel free to try it at home.
Good Luck Out There! (and please don't take this post serious.) sponsored by #unilever #lpt #beauty
So here's just a few of #MyBeautySecrets
1. Wake up from a coma while shaking in anger and start to vomit uncontrollably.
2. Train facial muscles by looking in the mirror repeating the mantra 'The fuck are you looking at you ugly smock?' Press my face into the mirror to leave a fat film of slime on to it untill there is no longer a reflection.
3. Bump my little toe under the door and scream in a 7-Octave vocal range. this opens up the Pineal Gland.
4. Shout slurs out the window untill someone accepts my battlecry, proceed to get into a fist-fight to really get that glow-up into my face.
5. Bite my fingernails untill they get that natural red gloss from biting off too much skin.
6. Scrape the dandruff out of my hair and use that as pulverized toothpaste
7. Eat the breadcrumps and 'what's that?' from under the couch cushions (Foodpoison helps me concentrate so i only eat perished foods)
8. Take the 'cum-jar' out of the freezer and mix myself a good ol' Benedict Cumberslop
9. Rip out each of my pubic hairs one by one while doing simple math equations
10. Fall to my knees and ask the lord for forgiveness (i rotate gods and religions to always stay on their radar)
And that's just my morning routine , feel free to try it at home.
Good Luck Out There! (and please don't take this post serious.) sponsored by #unilever #lpt #beauty
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