9 reactions
2006 , a dear friend (L ) from my city , traveled to the usa .
after couple times trying the diversity lottery as a #bodybuilding and gym trainer , he accidentally met online an american lady (D ) who have a 5-6 years old son (K).
things went well and they were married. she helpde him to migrate. she was working in clothes retail shop , he had 2 jobs ... in gas station and in #gym club.
they were in harmony , sharing everything even bank accounts. they spent years together and the kid ( K) was happy and growing up well.
K. reached 13 years old, he became unstable .... D. started to freak out and L. had to quit a job to take care of them . and problems started.
one day , K. started to steal from home and throwing things outside , then accuse L. of beating him ( never happened) . D. started fighting and arguing with her husband . she even kicked him from the house couple times.
after few months she asked for divorce , she was ruined not bcze of L , but her own kid (who had bad friends in school and neighborhood) .
they split , divorced and everyone took what he had to take. but ... after the divorce D. figured it out.
the kid K. was busted stealing from neighbors , and she started to think of what happened at her own house.
it was too late to get her husband back .. she of course went to L . tried to fix things ... too late ... but he didn't let her down, they are till today friends.
so , L. moved away , left the city and started from almost zero . got back his gas station job , and got 3 rd job in retail store as security man.
after couple months (18 hours of work per day ) he bought a falling house somewhere in texas ( i forgot the city) .. less than 40 k usd.
he started fixing it , but the contractors were so expensive ... he dropped his gas station job to fix the house . after several months he did it alone (bought tools, and whatever he needed , #diy , used internet for things he didn't know... )
now .. he have an amazing house with swimming pool , and took his little brother to Texas .
his brother did the same thing , bought a house and got a job and found a wife after that.
the good thing is they both support D. as a family member and D. still love them ... as they love her. K. grew up and knew what he did was very wrong, he live with his mother and rarely meet L. and A.
while another #immigrant from my city , was kicked out of usa , after some time in jail, for drugs. all he had was his clothes on his body.
huge difference .
#lifechallenges #familymatter
#immigrantjourney #realstory
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3 reactions
After a storming Saturday #caturday came a soothing Sunday
Turned quickly to #shrimpday .
A successful collaboration with my nieces ... Turned into a #challenge with
I Wasn't fast as usual but was cool morning.
I cheated and lost the #shrimp challenge 😏
#familymatter #food #seafood
Turned quickly to #shrimpday .
A successful collaboration with my nieces ... Turned into a #challenge with
I Wasn't fast as usual but was cool morning.
I cheated and lost the #shrimp challenge 😏
#familymatter #food #seafood
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17 reactions
#BreakingPoint #earn #activity
By,
Good #Relationships are built on respect, trust, honesty, sincerity . then come #love , affection , protection .... as results.
i think those are the pillars , if any of those became unstable, the whole relationship become insecure.
and of course we will lose one or more of those results gradually (if not fixed) till the total collapse... impact is subjective and affects all ramifications of that relationship ...
those pillars creates choice decision , if a person fail to test and see real value (the other person) will automatically jump into risky relationship that won't last.
so choice is subjective too and mutual. no one should accept to stick with someone who rejects him/her. rejection meets rejection, simple.
of course there's some exceptions , made by choice or necessity which opens the door on benefits and #psychological aspects .. present especially between spouses / family.
in the case of our friend here, i wouldn't expect changes without knowing the causes and work on them.
if a woman lose interest in her man , then the problem is around him , won't look far away . won't drop her and assume directly to pull her back easily. bcze it's not a quick decision she made..
think " maybe i am the reason, maybe pressure at home, maybe she compared herself with others and wanted to get "free" , maybe she is a victim of temptation"
always the kids are the victims of such failure. i would do anything to protect them even from myself , so if there's sacrifices, then let it be.
if i fail to contain the issue and she decide to keep doing what she do, i'll push her away for good.
if the kids need a mother, i'll get a wife, if i can take care of them alone, then will have time to rearrange everything hoping to surpass the #depression in short time without getting them into it.
soooo ... i would suggest to try to find out where did it fail , then find out why she did it . that is priceles lesson , he should not miss it.
not easy to be stabbed after years by who you considered soul-mate and your half... and have kids responsibility . and even the places would revive that wound, memories will make it harder to heal.
would be wise to travel or move to another place , even for short time. family visits will help a lot. let your kids feel they belong to family.
will give you time to think properly. dont close your door, don't run to shots, drugs and such .. you will be your wife and fall in #addiction then. talk, walk, do some activities, meet people...
maybe, who knows, you bump into a good magical woman , not a witch in disguise. kids are priority here, but won't grow up in safe way if you are not balanced. do not run behind women, let it come slowly. slower is sweeter .
whatever you decide to do... whenever their mother want to see them, or they want their mom .. make it happen in good atmosphere even for few minutes.
i have a friend (woman) divorced with 4 kids and recently my friend (man) with a little daughter went into # #divorce process..
different stories, different conditions but one thing is sure .. divorce is destructive.
----
if i missed something, will add it later when i feel better.
#familymatter
By,
Good #Relationships are built on respect, trust, honesty, sincerity . then come #love , affection , protection .... as results.
i think those are the pillars , if any of those became unstable, the whole relationship become insecure.
and of course we will lose one or more of those results gradually (if not fixed) till the total collapse... impact is subjective and affects all ramifications of that relationship ...
those pillars creates choice decision , if a person fail to test and see real value (the other person) will automatically jump into risky relationship that won't last.
so choice is subjective too and mutual. no one should accept to stick with someone who rejects him/her. rejection meets rejection, simple.
of course there's some exceptions , made by choice or necessity which opens the door on benefits and #psychological aspects .. present especially between spouses / family.
in the case of our friend here, i wouldn't expect changes without knowing the causes and work on them.
if a woman lose interest in her man , then the problem is around him , won't look far away . won't drop her and assume directly to pull her back easily. bcze it's not a quick decision she made..
think " maybe i am the reason, maybe pressure at home, maybe she compared herself with others and wanted to get "free" , maybe she is a victim of temptation"
always the kids are the victims of such failure. i would do anything to protect them even from myself , so if there's sacrifices, then let it be.
if i fail to contain the issue and she decide to keep doing what she do, i'll push her away for good.
if the kids need a mother, i'll get a wife, if i can take care of them alone, then will have time to rearrange everything hoping to surpass the #depression in short time without getting them into it.
soooo ... i would suggest to try to find out where did it fail , then find out why she did it . that is priceles lesson , he should not miss it.
not easy to be stabbed after years by who you considered soul-mate and your half... and have kids responsibility . and even the places would revive that wound, memories will make it harder to heal.
would be wise to travel or move to another place , even for short time. family visits will help a lot. let your kids feel they belong to family.
will give you time to think properly. dont close your door, don't run to shots, drugs and such .. you will be your wife and fall in #addiction then. talk, walk, do some activities, meet people...
maybe, who knows, you bump into a good magical woman , not a witch in disguise. kids are priority here, but won't grow up in safe way if you are not balanced. do not run behind women, let it come slowly. slower is sweeter .
whatever you decide to do... whenever their mother want to see them, or they want their mom .. make it happen in good atmosphere even for few minutes.
i have a friend (woman) divorced with 4 kids and recently my friend (man) with a little daughter went into # #divorce process..
different stories, different conditions but one thing is sure .. divorce is destructive.
----
if i missed something, will add it later when i feel better.
#familymatter
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