I’m so deeply sorry you’re going through all of this. That’s an overwhelming amount of pain and loss for one person to carry, especially while you’re already weak and unwell. Losing someone who has been part of your life for 25 years is like losing a part of your own story, and it’s completely understandable that your strength feels drained right now.
Please don’t push yourself to be active or present while you’re still healing. Your body and heart both need rest. There is no right way to grieve, and missing the funeral doesn’t lessen the love or bond you shared, your friend knew how close you were.
As for everything happening at once, sometimes life hits in waves, and all you can do is hold on and take it one small moment at a time. You don’t need answers right now, just patience with yourself and space to breathe.
Please rest well and recover. 🙏💛